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Thursday, April 19, 2012
Have You Ever...


Have you ever played that game when you were just as young, the one where you challenged the other person that the first person to say "I Love You" loses?

The one where you try hard to NOT fall in love with the other, yet you do your best to make the other fall for you?

The one where you spend as much time with the other as possible, either meeting up or just by simply texting?

The one whom you let into your life, and let your guard down?

The one where you fall needlessly an helplessly in love, but you just can't say it, simply cos you don't want to lose the game?

The one that you end up running away from, simply cos you're in a state of denial?

The one game that ends up breaking your heart to pieces cos she too is running away from the truth and ends up with another guy?

Have you ever played that game with hearts, and you end up breaking hers too, cos you moved on like she does, but in reality she has fallen for you too, and she doesn't want to lose the game either?

The one that you come back to later, only to realise what a fool you are for not picking to lose the game, and you lose her instead?

The one game that should never be played, cos the rules are so simple, it's unimaginable to lose?

The one game that you spent countless hours holding her hands, and seeing her laugh, and falling in love with her, but you just can't say "I Love You" cos you're unsure if she's just playing along or really have feelings for you?

I've played it once. It hurt. But it was probably the best game I've played, cos she was everything I could ask for. In every way, we were perfect together, an almost inseparable team, with an Archilles' heel... It was perfect in many ways, but fundamentally twisted.

I must say, I liked it. But I never want to do it again, ever. Cos breaking hearts isn't my thing anymore.


nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 3:56 am

Sunday, October 30, 2011
Janji Melayu - Jangan Perangai macam Chibai


I am writing this with great disappointment. It isn't the first time I'm saying this about mu beloved Malay community, and it won't be the last.

I hate people who are late.. Well, 15-20 mins is fine, or when you have something to occupy yourself with.. And playing games with yourself is NOT occupying your time.

You know those large events where there's a Minister VIP and say it starts at 2 cos that's what the invitation says. It actually starts at 2.30, cos the organisers are considerate enough to think of the late-comers. And the Minister VIP comes at 3.. But of course, some people think that THEY are the VIP (as opposed to the Minister himself) and walks in at 3.30 expecting a fanfare welcome and applauding attendees, coupled with an usher to their seats at the VIP table. Fantastic isn't it?

I admit I have been late on several occasions. But I make it a point to update the person I'm meeting, just so you manage the expectation, some way or the other. Besides, it takes less than a minute to text the person. I mean, how hard can it be?

This shitty janji Melayu crap only happens to orang-orang Melayu. And the 'lateness' ranges anything from 45 minutes to more than 2 hours. OR the person at times doesn't even bother to show up.

If I could, I wanna shoot all of them people who are late. But unfortunately that leaves me with very few friends.

Just because EVERYONE knows you're perenially late, is an excuse you can be late?

Just because you're hot you can be late?

Just because you're the VIP you can be late?

Honestly, where is your integrity in these matters?

So you glitz in like a star, and everything is supposed to be ok, huh?

Well, balls to you.


nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 1:52 am

Monday, September 26, 2011
Because you are that important to me...


There's this annoying strain in this relationship that I find highly irritating right now. If you don't express your feelings, how am i to know how you feel? Till it's too late of course.

I'm sorry if I'm not being sensitive at the right times. But I feel that I'm at the fucking loss at the moment.

Dammit!

Everything has been slow motion today. I didn't get to watch my race tonight, cos I chose to spend it with you. And what do I get? Crap.

Loads of crap. Crap I don't fucking deserve. You're playing this fucking mindfucking game. A game I know I won't win. You fucking treat me like I don't fucking exist, like it didn't fucking matter if I was around or not. And what the fuck am I supposed to do? Maybe we should just walk away. You can't stand me anymore, I know.

We're both playing this game of just shutting up when something goes wrong. Yea, maybe we should. Just shut up and let life go fucking on.

But no. I want to make this work. You're that raw unpolished gem.

Even if it means I get blasted at for no good reason, so be it. Because you are that important to me.


nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 3:51 am

Sunday, September 25, 2011
"I Know... Cos I Love You Too."


I looked back beyond this current spell, and I saw the smile of an Angel; Pure and simple.

Beauty indescribable. Joyful beyond words. Feelings as strong as ever.

But, I have never heard your declarations. Perhaps you're afraid this would go too fast, too far. And makes me wonder if I'm singing this song, alone.

I recall the nights spent together, in arms, and fingers intertwined, we shared a silent yet meaningful message.

"You can count on me."

"I know..."

"I'll always be here."

"I know."

"I'll always be your Angel."

"I know."

"Thank you for everything."

"There's nothing to thank me for. Thank the friendship."

"We'll never be together..."

"... but we'll never be apart either."

"I love you."

"I know. Cos I love you too."


nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 5:07 am

Thursday, September 22, 2011
Be


When we were kids, we had dreams.
We could be who we wanted to be.

When we were in school, we had ambitions.
We chose what we wanted to be.

When we started working, we had goals.
We worked hard to be who we wanted to be.

When we're parents, we'll have kids.
We'll help them be who they want to be.

Something perhaps, we didn't or couldn't be.

Not everyone has the resources or the ability, but continue to do your best to be who you want to be.


nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 11:34 am

Wednesday, September 21, 2011
An Everlasting Adventure


Since I turned 15, I've embarked on an interesting adventure. An adventure in search of Angels.

I've always had one, and one only. I'm not talking about girlfriends here. Both co-exist in the same time, but often in different worlds.

These Angels are relationships I have that is brought about by a more sincere kinda love. The kinda love that I don't expect anything in return. It's not like a rebound, nor a fallacious relationship. It's more of being there them whenever they need a friend, a shoulder, a ear, an extra pair of hands if need be.

But one thing is certain, I've never kissed an Angel. Call it a platonic relationship if you'd like, but it's definitely not an affair.

Angels don't need to be searched, nor found. Neither do they need any sort of mentioned commitment. They just appear in your life, and give you a certain special kind of contentment and happiness, one that needs no description.

An Angel is someone whom you care for deeply, and her insecurities and uncertainty are your top most priority. It's not about making her feel loved, it's about reassuring her that she's never alone in the dark.

When an Angel chooses you, she's one with you. Your opinions matter to her. But she's never your chioce, nor option. You can't force her, but you'll learn how to keep her around. She is your soul, but never your heart.

That's why an Angel can never co-exist with the girlfriend. The girlfriend would get jealous, but the Angel doesn't. Angels don't walk out on you. Even if she wanted to, there's a certain entwinement that keeps her close.

Putting it simply, the Angel is the effervescent glow in the darkest hour, while the girlfriend is the torch that burns brightly.

The adventure doesn't end here. The search for Angels is led by the soul.


nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 4:38 pm

Thursday, March 17, 2011
The Highest Prize


It's strange how after so long, and so many mistakes along the way, the most scarce is still what we want.

Surely there's only one Katy Perry, and one Angelina, but among friends, there's always that elusive one that you want; whom you hope for and wait for ages for the right time, that doesn't.

Somehow, you always want the highest fruit from the highest tree, rather than picking something within reach. But are the highest apples really sweeter than the ones on the lower branches? How about those on the floor? Some are ripe for the picking..

Where are you on that tree? Way way up getting lots of sunshine but only those fit enough can get up, or on the lowest branch getting lots of nutrients where anyone who bothers to stretch can give it a go? Or somewhere in between? Or just on the floor trampled by everyone and anyone?

But amazingly, man thrives on curiousity and challenges. We still want that highest fruit. Cos the highest fruit, is the highest prize, literally.


nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 11:36 pm

Saturday, February 27, 2010
The Bro Code


  1. No bro shall drink alone.

  2. No bro shall turn down an invite to free food.

  3. Bros shall accept any challenge posed by non-bros, especially when it comes to drinking games.

  4. No bro shall date, kiss or hit on another bro's partner.

  5. No bro shall leave a drink undrunk.

  6. No bro shall leave a glass dry.

  7. No bro fist will be left unbumped between bros.

  8. Beer is good, liquor is better

  9. Tequila shots optional, upside down shots mandatory.

  10. No bro shall pee alone.

  11. No bro shall judge the actions of another bro, especially in a state of compromised sobriety.

  12. At any time, at least one bro be sober enough to take care of the other bro's from doing acts which he/she will regret from when he sobers up.

  13. Bros have no gender boundaries. However, rule No 4 still applies under any circumstance.

  14. The amendment of this bro code shall only be approved in a state of compromised sobriety.

  15. We're bros, so we're awesome.


nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 4:00 am

Thursday, November 12, 2009
Redefining Relationships


Relationships are hard to define. Really.
It used to be either you're Single, or Attached.
But since the development of Friendster, and more recently Facebook, statuses cover a much wider ground, depending on whether there's a mutual liking, whether there's a commitment, and whether there's the intimacy.

But as much as possible, I've come accross many friends who sit on the grey area between being single, and being attached, and I'll try to make sense on all this nonsense about the saying "Single, but Available."

But one thing is certain, it cannot be exclusive, if you're afraid of commitment.
I refer to Steinberg's theory on triangular love for this.

And I've somewhat further on explain on the different facets of a relationship based on the different levels of commitment.



I separate the triangle into 2 main parts, exclusive, and non-exclusive. Exclusive would be one, where there's just one person. Non-exclusive would mean that there can be two, or more people involved with the individual at any one time.
Exclusive relationships are not recommended for the commitment-phobic.

At this point, I'm a bit tired. I'll explain this further in the future.


nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 12:08 am

Saturday, November 07, 2009
I only got So much to Give.


This is the part that I don't understand.

As a human, there's only so much that I can give; my energy, my time, me resources.
And when I've given my all, you can't expect more from me.
I'll break.

A saw a slew of interesting statuses and what nots, form FB, Twitter and MSN.
One struck me.

"love me when i least deserve it, because that is when i need it the most. "

I find it hard to comprehend this.xt.U Ivh g Mentioned time and again, guys are really simple creatures. Understanding how we think, and why we do things, is simple and pure logic. No need to over-think on it.

And when we love, we give it our best.
But when you push us to the limit, cos of your plain, perhaps unthoughtful actions we break, cos there's only so much that we can take.

I don't get the part that the guy has to be forgiving.
I don't understand the part where we need to give in. And it's not as if we're stubborn creatures in to begin with.

I don't understand the part, where we need to be the tail, when we should be the head.

I can be stubborn, and I am, naturally.
I can be assertive, and I am, naturally.

Just like what I said to a girl previously, when the girl gets too troublesome or asks for too much, we move on.

Nice guys finish last? Perhaps. Cos we keep moving on, and taking detours, and enjoying the things we see, touch, hear and feel along the way.

Above everything being all grown up now, I realise that some things are only superficial, and to suspend judgment and give things a 2nd shot might give you good returns. I found that girl who doesn't stop to amaze me, the girl who's great company.
Cos at the end of the day, I can only commit the same mistake twice. And not for the third.


nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 11:33 am

randomly ME .
Name : Bambang Suryadi
Location : Upnorth, Singapore

A little bit of here, a little bit of there. I'm a little bit of everywhere. You gotta find out more about me, to know where I'd be

View my complete profile


random-blabber .





random events & invites .

 Nothing at the moment.


Clubbing this weekend? Keep me informed. I might just join you!

random-friends .
A. | Afidah | AMN | Annisa | Arin | Asrizal | Azura | Benjamin | Clio | Chris | Dalilah | Dayana | Eileen | Eka | Faizal | Farhana | Fadilah | Fad CIE | FarahZee | Fida | Halimah | Hasriyanti | Icka | Ida | Iqah Vampiee | JunShun | Kathy | Kelvin | Leah | Lynnette | Mariana | Meow | Misa | Nadiah | Noor Ashikin | QuanHui | Queenie | Rab | Rashidah | Rizuana | Roza | Ryna | Sebastian | Shaza | Shazy | Shila | Siti Diva | Siti Nuraini | Sofina | Sri Yanti | Stefanie | Syahidah | Syirah | Tuck Wah | Vid | Vivien | Yi Yinz | Zeraynne | Yun | Zhi Hao | Zuraidy |


random-Archives .

November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
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May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
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September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
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September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
February 2010
March 2011
September 2011
October 2011
April 2012


random-pics .


random-support .

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random-prayer .

 Dear God, Give me the answers I seek. Give me the strength to continue loving and caring, in this world full of hatred, and discontentment.

Dear God, do give me the strength, to go another day, with all the challenges I face.

Dear God, give me the ability to be the best that I can be, for my family and friends.

Dear God, please ensure her safety, and the safety of those she loves, and those who love her.

Dear God, don't take away this gift of patience, and faith which you have bestowed upon me, as it helps me keeps my sanity in times like this. Don't take away the love that I have for the people I care for.

Dear God, beyond everything I ask for help to make sure that the people I care for remain as happy as can be, even though you need to shroud me in misery.

random-things to say .

 Choosing to Love you,
Is the best decision I've made, so far.

Wanting you to be happy,
Is my only consideration now.

Leaving you all alone,
Was never an option.

To be thinking about you always,
Is not easy, especially in tough times.

Being CHOPE
Is incomplete without the REAL chickadee.

random-influence .

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designer/layout: shawn
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