: : ADi is Dreamy. Capture it. : :

Saturday, February 23, 2008
Being a Little Reckless

reck·less [rékləss]
adjective
without thought of danger:
marked by a lack of thought about danger or other possible undesirable
consequences

It doesn't hurt to be a little more reckless. There's nothing much left to care for anyway.
Its just one of those days when I feel that I'm caring, and harbouring too much hope into people, so much so that it dwindles down to a simple hope which says, 'Don't hurt me, nor my feelings.'

I'm finding it a little harder to recover these days, when people really care. BUt sometimes the more they show they care, the more confused and hurt you get. Sometimes you wish they'd go away, but secretly wished they were closer too.

Like that girl from the east, who's 4 months pregnant. You started out okay, great company and all, and you make me feel warm and comfortable when you start singing. Great voice, dark secret. But things took a turn today, and suddenly I had to start caring. Gone are effortless carefree relationships, and the dawn of obliging friendships.

Then there's this other girl from the east. Well, she seems to like me for who I am, liking me for the fact that I'm witty, and sarcastic and blunt, yet cool all at the same time. Well girl, thanks.

I asked Mai something verrry interesting... And it's got an interesting answer too..
Q: What do girls associate stability with?
A: (He must have a) good job that pays (well), knowing the guy won't stray behind her back.
It's the 2nd point which caught me off guard. KNOWING THE GUY WON'T STRAY BEHIND HER BACK. It's not good enough to not do it, she must also KNOW that we're not doing it.

Which then got me thinking... Am I caring for too many people that I am not caring for myself? And when I do care for people, am I expecting something in return, that I get extremely disappointed when I don't get the attention back? Do these people whom I care for actually KNOW that they mean something to me, hence I care for them? Should caring for friends be unconditional, knowing that you may never get anything in return?
If there's a YES to any of these questions, then why the hell am I feeling this way?

Perhaps it's time for me not to care. But I can't stop caring, cos it's part of who I am.
Perhaps it's time for me not to care. But I can't stop caring, cos it's how I define my relationships with people.
Perhaps I should really stop caring, then how about the people I love? It's bad enough that I feel I'm not spending enough time at home, CARING for my lil angels at home, knowing DAMN well that I'm trying my best to.

Dear God.
Give me the answers I seek.
Give me the strength to continue loving and caring, in this world full of hatred, and discontentment.
Give me the resources, to be who I want to be, and what others want me to be.
Give me the ability to be the best that I can be, for my family and friends.
Dear God, don't take away this gift of patience, and faith which you have bestowed upon me, as it helps me keeps my sanity in times like this.
Don't take away the love that I have for the people I care for.
But most importantly, God, help to make sure that the people I care for remain as happy as can be, even though you need to shroud me in misery.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 10:48 pm

Sunday, February 17, 2008
Feb!

Work has been making me a little bit more busy to be at ease wth my thoughts.

So yes, Misa & Roza, that's why this place has been a little dead as of late. I shall still try my best to NOT let this space rot.

First things first.. Happy Belated Valentines! I''m still available for dates, and other what nots, so please do ask me out. I'm getting bored of being alone, and having ot ask people out.

Secondly, as of 31st Jan, I'm officially a qualified rider! So another dangerous rider on the road soon!

Mum's finally got her kueh business idea into full swing. So after several months of her pestering me, I bring to you my mum's kueh. You can drop me an email if you're interested. I'll see of I got the time to set up a blog for her.

And lastly to...

My Lil Angel, yes I have been neglecting you a little bit, and that's no good. So what say this weekend (soon rather, I can't confirm this weekend yet) we head out to dinner! I don't know when you'll read this, but if you do, just beep me.

Rabiah, thanks for the t-shirt from Bangkok! So thoughtful. =P
Yes yes, your birthday coming soon. Another month to be exact! I'll be there. Oh it's B shift this week, that means I need to fulfil my obligation to you. Tell me when alright.

Sue~ Thanks for the uhm.. yea, you know why I'm thankful. It's more than just the MuVo you know.. =)

February seems like a gooooooood month ahead. A little broke for now, but a good month indeed.

Take care everyone!

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 1:27 pm

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I LOVE:
great company

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT MY LAST EX:
Can be quite annoying, but cute in her own respect, and for that I still love her.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I SAY:
the wrong things, at the wrong time, ALL THE TIME.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I HAVE:
a keen sense of time and space.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I'VE LOST:
the ones I love cos of my imperfections.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I HATE:
the feeling of being single. But frankly, I'm enjoying the space. I just hate the loneliness.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT MARRIAGE IS:
something I want, not need.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT THE BEST:
is still the first.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I'LL ALWAYS BE:
the way I am.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT LOVE:
is blind, and sometimes more unconditional than other times.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT THE LAST TIME I CRIED:
was 2 weeks ago.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT, WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING:
there's really nothing in my mind.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT:
I tend to call someone who would make me laugh, and cry in the same conversation.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT RIGHT NOW:
I'm questioning myself what made me do this silly survey in the first place. *Thanks Fintz*

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT BABIES:
are pretty easy to make.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I GET ON FRIENDSTER:
nothing but empty hope, and promises and a false sense of belonging.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT TODAY:
is my 2nd off day already.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT TONIGHT:
I might really have nothing to do.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT TOMORROW:
Is a working day. It's a Monday. I might catch up with Leah.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I REALLY WANT:
is her - forever. Like what she said, and what I'll continue to have faith in.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 11:28 am

randomly ME .

	Name : Bambang Suryadi Location : Upnorth, Singapore
	A little bit of here, a little bit of there. I'm a little bit of everywhere. You gotta find out more about me, to know where I'd be
View my complete profile

random-blabber .

Twittin'

follow me on Twitter

random events & invites .

Nothing at the moment.

Clubbing this weekend? Keep me informed. I might just join you!

random-friends .

random-Archives .

November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
February 2010
March 2011
September 2011
October 2011
April 2012

random-pics .

random-support .

Visitors

random-prayer .

Dear God, Give me the answers I seek. Give me the strength to continue loving and caring, in this world full of hatred, and discontentment.

Dear God, do give me the strength, to go another day, with all the challenges I face.

Dear God, give me the ability to be the best that I can be, for my family and friends.

Dear God, please ensure her safety, and the safety of those she loves, and those who love her.

Dear God, don't take away this gift of patience, and faith which you have bestowed upon me, as it helps me keeps my sanity in times like this. Don't take away the love that I have for the people I care for.

Dear God, beyond everything I ask for help to make sure that the people I care for remain as happy as can be, even though you need to shroud me in misery.

random-things to say .

Choosing to Love you,
Is the best decision I've made, so far.

Wanting you to be happy,
Is my only consideration now.

Leaving you all alone,
Was never an option.

To be thinking about you always,
Is not easy, especially in tough times.

Being CHOPE
Is incomplete without the REAL chickadee.

random-influence .

|ll|ll|l||ll||ll|l|ll|
Copyrighted.
inspired by blue+weirdness
designer/layout: shawn
image: photobucket.
X-BLOGGERS productions.