: : ADi is Dreamy. Capture it. : :

Monday, September 26, 2011
Because you are that important to me...

There's this annoying strain in this relationship that I find highly irritating right now. If you don't express your feelings, how am i to know how you feel? Till it's too late of course.

I'm sorry if I'm not being sensitive at the right times. But I feel that I'm at the fucking loss at the moment.

Dammit!

Everything has been slow motion today. I didn't get to watch my race tonight, cos I chose to spend it with you. And what do I get? Crap.

Loads of crap. Crap I don't fucking deserve. You're playing this fucking mindfucking game. A game I know I won't win. You fucking treat me like I don't fucking exist, like it didn't fucking matter if I was around or not. And what the fuck am I supposed to do? Maybe we should just walk away. You can't stand me anymore, I know.

We're both playing this game of just shutting up when something goes wrong. Yea, maybe we should. Just shut up and let life go fucking on.

But no. I want to make this work. You're that raw unpolished gem.

Even if it means I get blasted at for no good reason, so be it. Because you are that important to me.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 3:51 am

Sunday, September 25, 2011
"I Know... Cos I Love You Too."

I looked back beyond this current spell, and I saw the smile of an Angel; Pure and simple.

Beauty indescribable. Joyful beyond words. Feelings as strong as ever.

But, I have never heard your declarations. Perhaps you're afraid this would go too fast, too far. And makes me wonder if I'm singing this song, alone.

I recall the nights spent together, in arms, and fingers intertwined, we shared a silent yet meaningful message.

"You can count on me."

"I know..."

"I'll always be here."

"I know."

"I'll always be your Angel."

"I know."

"Thank you for everything."

"There's nothing to thank me for. Thank the friendship."

"We'll never be together..."

"... but we'll never be apart either."

"I love you."

"I know. Cos I love you too."

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 5:07 am

Thursday, September 22, 2011
Be

When we were kids, we had dreams.
We could be who we wanted to be.

When we were in school, we had ambitions.
We chose what we wanted to be.

When we started working, we had goals.
We worked hard to be who we wanted to be.

When we're parents, we'll have kids.
We'll help them be who they want to be.

Something perhaps, we didn't or couldn't be.

Not everyone has the resources or the ability, but continue to do your best to be who you want to be.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 11:34 am

Wednesday, September 21, 2011
An Everlasting Adventure

Since I turned 15, I've embarked on an interesting adventure. An adventure in search of Angels.

I've always had one, and one only. I'm not talking about girlfriends here. Both co-exist in the same time, but often in different worlds.

These Angels are relationships I have that is brought about by a more sincere kinda love. The kinda love that I don't expect anything in return. It's not like a rebound, nor a fallacious relationship. It's more of being there them whenever they need a friend, a shoulder, a ear, an extra pair of hands if need be.

But one thing is certain, I've never kissed an Angel. Call it a platonic relationship if you'd like, but it's definitely not an affair.

Angels don't need to be searched, nor found. Neither do they need any sort of mentioned commitment. They just appear in your life, and give you a certain special kind of contentment and happiness, one that needs no description.

An Angel is someone whom you care for deeply, and her insecurities and uncertainty are your top most priority. It's not about making her feel loved, it's about reassuring her that she's never alone in the dark.

When an Angel chooses you, she's one with you. Your opinions matter to her. But she's never your chioce, nor option. You can't force her, but you'll learn how to keep her around. She is your soul, but never your heart.

That's why an Angel can never co-exist with the girlfriend. The girlfriend would get jealous, but the Angel doesn't. Angels don't walk out on you. Even if she wanted to, there's a certain entwinement that keeps her close.

Putting it simply, the Angel is the effervescent glow in the darkest hour, while the girlfriend is the torch that burns brightly.

The adventure doesn't end here. The search for Angels is led by the soul.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 4:38 pm

randomly ME .

	Name : Bambang Suryadi Location : Upnorth, Singapore
	A little bit of here, a little bit of there. I'm a little bit of everywhere. You gotta find out more about me, to know where I'd be
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random-prayer .

Dear God, Give me the answers I seek. Give me the strength to continue loving and caring, in this world full of hatred, and discontentment.

Dear God, do give me the strength, to go another day, with all the challenges I face.

Dear God, give me the ability to be the best that I can be, for my family and friends.

Dear God, please ensure her safety, and the safety of those she loves, and those who love her.

Dear God, don't take away this gift of patience, and faith which you have bestowed upon me, as it helps me keeps my sanity in times like this. Don't take away the love that I have for the people I care for.

Dear God, beyond everything I ask for help to make sure that the people I care for remain as happy as can be, even though you need to shroud me in misery.

random-things to say .

Choosing to Love you,
Is the best decision I've made, so far.

Wanting you to be happy,
Is my only consideration now.

Leaving you all alone,
Was never an option.

To be thinking about you always,
Is not easy, especially in tough times.

Being CHOPE
Is incomplete without the REAL chickadee.

random-influence .

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