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Wednesday, November 30, 2005
7 Days

It's 7 days to KL!

Thoughts of Lecka-Lecka, Kenny Rogers, and KLCC are coming back to me.

Here's what I want to do: Nothing. I just want to keep an open mind to this.

Wow.

There was so little at stake the last time. There's so much more to build on now. Every step is an experience. Every day is a discovery. And every week is something new.

There's so much to learn from this. And this 2nd trip to KL will be more than just a holiday.

Passport? Check.

I love you, Su.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 10:39 am

Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Negative Positivism, Positive Negativism

Nursing a cold, and a terrible headache. I think i'm falling sick.

I need some loving, and some TLC.

Mum's out of town, and won't be back until Friday night. So in the mean time, the house has become like a bachelors' pad.

Not that it makes a difference when she's away, really. I don't spend enough time at home anyway, and I haven't been having dinner at home with the family so often as before.

Who to blame? Myself probably. School, work, Girlfriend, and the need for a 'time away from home.' Then again, I'm already spending so much time away from home, that I'm actually finding it difficult to find time to sit at home.

Family...

Seems like an easy word to define. What is family? Who are your family members? Who is part of your famiily? Who do you consider to be your family?

Family - n.Two or more people, who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place.

Well, I can only think of ONE person who would fit in this definition of FAMILY.

Broadening it a little bit, Family is a fundamental social group in society usually consisting of one or two parents and their children.

Broad as it is, here is where the grey areas lie. Who is part of MY family then? Mum? Definitely. Dad? He's got a family of his own. His kids? Erm... D&D? I guess... Stepdad? Should be...

Well, then typically, if family is defined more loosely as all the members of a household under one roof, then know who's in and who's not.

Everyone always say "You're always welcome to our family." Of course we are. But whether we will be accepted, acknowledged and recognised to be part of it, is another thing altogether.

Bah.. I just lost my train of thought...

Take care.

Have a great trip mum.

I love you Su. I had a beautiful weekend. Thanks.

I need my comfort foods.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 10:47 am

Friday, November 18, 2005
Happy Birthday, Su!

Happy Birthday to Su!
She lives in the Zoo!
With the Bears and Dear Bonbon...
Happy Birthday to You!

Caring for Cacti

During the active growth season (spring & summer) cacti need to be watered more often than during the dormant season. There is no set watering specifications for cacti, as it depends on the pot, the soil, the climate and several other factors. The best way to learn how much water your cactus needs and how often is to observe it. When watering the cactus, add water until there is only about a half inch of dry soil on the surface. Be sure that the drainage holes in the pot are not blocked so the water can run out. Do not water the cactus again until the soil is completely dry. The easiest way to check the soil moisture is to carefully stick a pencil or a similar object to the bottom of the soil and check for any damp soil clinging to it.
During the dormant season (fall and winter), the plant should be watered no more than every few weeks. - fromhttp://tx.essortment.com/cactuscare_rciy.htm

But I guess in Singapore weather, one can assume that it's 'active season' all year round.

Happy birthday, Su. I wish you all the best for your future endeavours, and hope that you be happy in life's journeys. Stay strong, and keep your head up to face life's challenges. Turning 18 is a big psychological leap in life, and I'm glad that you have come thus far. Remain optimistic, and happy. That's all I ask from you.

Take care, Darling. I love you.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 9:21 am

Thursday, November 17, 2005
Coming back to Yesterday

Every now and then, we think back about our happy past. A past that kept us smiling for as long as happiness lasted. When sometimes we return to it, it is not exactly what we expect it to be.

These few days are proof, that once change occurs, there's no way that things are going back to normal, no matter how much time passes.

We've since moved on.

I saw a little bit of me in the mirror yesterday. I knew what was going through his mind. I knew what he did, and I knew quite well what he was trying to do. All because I was in his shoes before. He did exactly everything the way I did.

The stories about 'moving on' just to show you that he's moved on. But more often than not, they are what they are - stories. Stories to win hearts, stories to earn trust all over again, stories to swwep you off your feet, and stories that is meant to convince you that

'It's over, I understand. I'm okay, and I'm picking up the pieces. But will you come back to me?"

Give him support, show genuine care and concern. If helping him get back on track is what you want to do, then help him. If you want to end it, and let go, then let go softly, and consistently. Hope is the thing that keeps us alive, in difficult times. When hope is gone, all is lost.

Moving on is a painful pill to swallow, especially whan you're on the wrong end of the stick.

But coming back to yesterday is even more painful, especially when the scars have not healed, and the memories of a beautiful past haunt you, to make you feel loved like you used to.

I love you, Su. Take my hand, and we'll move mountains.

21 days to KL...

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 4:15 pm

Saturday, November 12, 2005
Take a Pop Here

I just wanna redirect some traffic to this other blog. It's not mine. It's nothing potentially harmful but it's just a rambling of a Singaporean boy, who goes on and on about how happy he was with his ex-girlfriend, how he wants her back, as well as his other 'wrong' choices with his past girlfriends.

Go see it.

I just want tell Aman to move on, and there's nothing to gain by hanging around too long in the past. It just gets to you and things become worse from there.

Anyway, with respect to the last post, I'd like to state, for the records, that me and Su are okay, and we've never been happier.

If you haven't realised already, we'll be heading to KL for a few days next month. We're gonna have a great time there too.

Take Care Su. I love you.

Aman, take care of yourself too. I'm at hand if you need a friend.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 8:46 am

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you...

Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming...

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work
It was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

-----------------------------

I love you, Su.

See you at the beach today.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 8:39 am

Monday, November 07, 2005
My Aidilfitri Celebrations

Today is the 5th day of Aidilfitri.

There's an inverse relation between the amount of money you receive as gifts, and your perceived age.

This year, I received a grand total of $26.00 only! That's the lowest I made in history over the festive period in the past 20 years!

Usually, the house of the elders are visited first. If you don't have a family of your own, you'll have to tag along with your parents, and they'll visit their parents. First you'll be visiting your paternal grandparents, then your maternal ones. It has to be in that order, and there's no two way about it.

Well, you could visit the latter before e former, but the folks would be a tad disappointed...

And on the first weekend we visit the rest of the uncles and aunts. Now this is the best part. Thisis the time where you get to spend a whole day of a year with all your aunts, uncles and cousins. This is also the time where you catch up with them and take ton's of pictures all over the place.

Well, the pics I took are still under processing, but some of them are already in my Friendster ready for public viewing. I'll be uploading the pics here when I'm done editing them.

I'm feeling better about this festive season as compared to last year's. I'm not as jaded as I was last year, but I did have felt something like it on the beginning. I had a sinking feeling that it would be the same.

But thinks looked up. The hatchets were buried, and I was a bit more optimistic on the strained relations, between the people closest to me. Although relations were not exactly cordial, what more intimate, at it has improved tremendously.

In short, no one has anything to gain by holding grudges against your friends and family.

Forgiveness is something the world is lacking in. There are many real examples where forgiveness is overdue. An issue no longer discussed is not a sign that forgiveness is being granted. Holocausts, genocides, homocides, infanticides, murder, suicides are morbidly real examples where forgiveness is definitely lacking, especially in its action, as well as the sentiments about it today.

The Yellow Ribbon Project is all about forgiving the convicted, and integrating them into the society. There should be a similar movement for the Communists, the Nazis, and murderers on the Capital punishment, to just move on, and let the heinous crimes be a black spot in the global community.

Only then, would the world be a better place.

On that note, I seek forgiveness for my misdeeds, and my wrongdoings, against persons or groups of persons whom I've offended and wronged, whether intentionally or unintentionally. I have also forgiven everyone in my path, and those who have wronged or offended me, intentionally or otherwise. I do hope that the hatchet can be buried six feet under, never to be brought up again.

I love you Su.

I had a great weekend. We'll look forward to better times to be spent together, especially in KL.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 2:09 pm

Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Let me be a Whore, not a Gigolo...

With the end of Ramadhan just around the corner, I'd like to wish all my Muslim brothers and sisters from around the world a very Happy Aidil Fitri! Apologies for my posts which have offended you, intentionally or not, as well as for the shortcomings of my humble blog. I'll continue to improve on my blog, to make it a more fuitful reading experience.

As always, the celebration of Aidil Fitri involves some tears shed in the morning, some houses being visited, some cakes and dishes being eaten at these houses, and of course, some exchanges of the 'coveted' packets of money... *LOL*

And with modern technology, cards are not sent as frequently as before. Over the past few days, I've received SMSes from friends, and family sending their wishes for Hari Raya. Thanks a lot, guys. Really appreciate it.

I'll be on half day off tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to it. Perhaps I'm going to break my fast with some friends, and be back in time for any last minute changes to the decor of the house, as well as any last minute visits to the Malay Village... I did promise some you my friends that we'll be breaking fast this year, so I suppose some of you can be expecting my invite for tomorrow evening. Nothing elaborate though, and I do not expect to pop by Malay Village to break my fast with you. Worry not, I'll call you.

So as always, every celebration has it's Kodak moments. And I'll be armed with my digicam to capture everyone of them. I'll be snapping away, and I'll be a Camera Whore.

Over the weekend, I've also booked the trip to KL. $140, with 2 nights' accomodation at the Royale Bintang Hotel, KL. That's another trip I'll be looking forward to...

Take care everyone. I love you Su.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 8:01 pm

randomly ME .

	Name : Bambang Suryadi Location : Upnorth, Singapore
	A little bit of here, a little bit of there. I'm a little bit of everywhere. You gotta find out more about me, to know where I'd be
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random-blabber .

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random events & invites .

Nothing at the moment.

Clubbing this weekend? Keep me informed. I might just join you!

random-friends .

random-Archives .

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random-pics .

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random-prayer .

Dear God, Give me the answers I seek. Give me the strength to continue loving and caring, in this world full of hatred, and discontentment.

Dear God, do give me the strength, to go another day, with all the challenges I face.

Dear God, give me the ability to be the best that I can be, for my family and friends.

Dear God, please ensure her safety, and the safety of those she loves, and those who love her.

Dear God, don't take away this gift of patience, and faith which you have bestowed upon me, as it helps me keeps my sanity in times like this. Don't take away the love that I have for the people I care for.

Dear God, beyond everything I ask for help to make sure that the people I care for remain as happy as can be, even though you need to shroud me in misery.

random-things to say .

Choosing to Love you,
Is the best decision I've made, so far.

Wanting you to be happy,
Is my only consideration now.

Leaving you all alone,
Was never an option.

To be thinking about you always,
Is not easy, especially in tough times.

Being CHOPE
Is incomplete without the REAL chickadee.

random-influence .

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