: : ADi is Dreamy. Capture it. : :

Tuesday, May 24, 2005
I Got Sunshine

Rawks!

Had a bloody good time in KL over the weekend.

Never mind I was in anxiety since 5 in the morning, not knowing if I'd actually make it for the trip;
Nevermind that I arrived at the pick-up point super-early;

Looking good, eh?

Nevermind that the traffic jam snaked for at least an hour before we even reached the Tuas Checkpoint;
Nevermind that I was hungry till the bus stopped at Machap, Johore at 12 something and I had a watered-down version of Chicken Chop;
Nevermind that I arrived at the Corus Hotel at 3.30pm;

Along Jalan Ampang

Nevermind that I was with myself till dinner time and was introduced to the R1 till dinnertime, and took a spin on it;
Nevermind that I was spoilt for choice on what to have for dinner at Suria KLCC where they served a variety of food that would make even the most picky Singaporeans go googu-gaga;

Suria KLCC from the Pool of the Hotel

Nevermind that I heard the band from the USN 3rd Fleet churned out some oldies sing-a-longs at the KLCC amphitheatre and I was enjoying it under the stars;
Nevermind that I had 4 spicy floss buns from Breadtalk within 3 hours;
Nevermind that I slept at 3 am with a sore back and a stiff cold;
Nevermind that I jumped out of bed the next day at 7 am to be sure that I had enough breakfast;
Nevermind that I was sitting stoinked under the morning sun instead of dipping in the pool;

36A

Nevermind that I went to Chinatown in the sveltering afternoon heat looking for a cheap bargain;

I was looking for shades

Nevermind that I did get a bargain;
Nevermind that I returned to the hotel for a shower after getting a NIKE look-a-like;
Nevermind that the Putraline LRT was packed and I had to stand;

At the doors

Nevermind that I took an hour on foot to get to Bukit Bintang from where my hotel was for dinner;
Nevermind that I was not full from my dinner at Kenny Roger's;

Al-fresco at Kenny Roger's, Bukit Bintang

Nevermind that I had 2 sinful double-scoop servings of some soyabean ice-cream that cost close to a bomb a piece;
Nevermind that the cab ride back ot the hotel was only ten minutes from Bukit Bintang;
Nevermind that I had a nice warm bubble bath and explored my thoughts deep;
Nevermind that I slept early that night;
Nevermind that I got up at 9am on Monday and was late for breakfast;
Nevermind that I had my Last Ride after that;
Nevermind that I finally had the Kyros Kebab from KLCC which I was craving for 3 days;
Nevermind that the bus was an hour late on the way to Home;

Look-a-Like?

Nevermind that it wasn't the same bus, so I didn't get my 170 degrees reclining seat;
Nevermind that I was having nausea on some parts of the return trip;
Nevermind the 3 and a half hour long traffic jam at the Singapore Customs
Nevermind that some inconsiderate Singaporeans on board the bus decided to get the drivers' passport confiscated;
Nevermind that I was the mediator between the parties;
Nevermind that I arrived in Singapore at 11.30 pm;
Nevermind that I dragged myself to eat at Al-Ameen;

Fresh even past midnight

Nevermind that I paid quite a lot for the cab fare;
Nevermind that I finally got home at 1.30am;
Nevermind that I fell asleep only at 2am thinking of my trip;
Nevermind that I had to get up at 7 am this morning to get my ass to work;

Because I had fun.

I had fun just being there.
I had fun meeting people and new friends.

Samuel

I had fun just being in the bus sitting next to this girl I hardly once knew.

The Girl

I had fun making her laugh all the way from Singapore to KL and back.
I had fun seeing her smiles.

Her Smile

I had fun listening to Larry Morales with her.
I had fun sharing my stories with her.
I had fun seeing her laugh no matter how lame or stupid or irritating or vulgar they were.

I had fun making her laugh so hard, she cried.
I had fun shopping with her and putting up with her antics.
I had fun singing My Girl at the top of our voices, even though I don't even know half the words.
I had fun seeing her giggle when I told a bunch of people that I was an Mechenical Engineering student from NYP with a straight face.
I had fun getting lost with her.

I had fun.

I enjoyed every moment of it.

It was something I really needed.
It was something I feel I deserve.
It was a wonderful adventure.
It was something to be remembered by.
It was definitely something to be happy about.

And happy is an understatement.

No long face here

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 7:34 pm

Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Give me a Sec

Just give me a second, to step back, and think about all the stuff that's going through my mind now.

All I need is a second...

Timecheck: 19:03:22
---------------------------------

I don't want you back. I've forgiven you, it's not your fault anymore. It's mine. It's a big sacrifice.

So you found someone new? Don't need me anymore at FR? It's ok. I'm moving to another place where I know I'll be accepted, and appreciated. You found your 'right man' for the job. Skills mismatch for me? We'll see if you've got a better person. Adios. But I'm still keeping my desk, and I won't move to a 'temporary' position, no way. You took my job, and now you want to take my workspace? Fat hope.

2 more days. Gee... I can't wait.

Gosh my head is hurting. And can someone please shut that baby up?

-------------------------------

Timecheck: 19:03:23

There. I've had my second-long break. Take care everyone.

Sab, hang in there. Superman is always there for you, you know. If he can't do it, Batman sure can.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 7:03 pm

Monday, May 16, 2005
Using Humour in Tough Times

What is this thing called humour? We understand laughter well enough. And we know when we find something funny. But what makes something amusing? What do we mean when we say someone has a good sense of humour? And how can we use humour during tough times as instant pick-me-ups?

Author Leo Buscaglia said that "when you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot, hang on, and swing!"

Humour can be a powerful motivating tool. We may not be able to laugh ourway through adversity, but a sense of humour can lessen anxiety, alleviate tensions, and help us adapt when stressful changes occur.

Besides, laughter contributes to good health, which you probably know by now. You could think of humour as a way of existing in, interacting with, and perceiving the world. It's a pair of orange-tinted, star-shaped spectacles that you can put on in times of frustration. It immediately lightens themood and gives you a fresh view.

Having a sense of humour doesn't mean you have to be funny. Whether something is funny or not is subjective anyway. A sense of humour goes beyond laughter. It is more profound than comedy. And it's more rewarding than merely being entertaining.

A person with a sense of humour is able to see the fun in common experiences, and the light in dark days. Having a sense of humour is being able to take the Mickey out of stressful people, demanding situations, and the ugly side of life. It is the ability to nimbly sidestep potential flashpoints. It's about disarming, then surprising. It's a weapon of the underdog.

Job stress is something many of us face. Just remember that when it comes to work, you are not your job. No doubt you should take your work seriously, but your job is what you do. It's not who you are. Never letyour job become your life.

A good and simple way to develop a sense of humour is to collect and remember things you find funny. Jokes that come to you via email, a humourous quote you come across in a magazine, a mis-spelt word on a sign, a comic strip, a photo that cracks you up. Look for the ironic and satirical in people and in events. Turn the person who annoys you at work into a comedian. Then, it's comic relief each time he or she tries to frustrate you!

I say collect "things", but you know, people can be funny. Make friends whotend to make you laugh! Try to laugh as much as you can everyday. Make others laugh too. Humour is never having to apologise even when you'rebeing corny. Make your environment filled with fun and laughter.

I like how actress and comedian Lily Tomlin put it when she said, "Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest. Then we can all die laughing!"

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 10:47 pm

Sunday, May 15, 2005
Cumbersome Shadows of Yesterday

It would be 11 months, next Thursday.

11 months of joy and happiness, and tears, sorrow and anger.

But why only now do I start to regret? Do I regret? Have I regretted?

Things hapen for a reason, and every reason it happens, is a blessing.

Regret is wasteful. It doesn't change anything. The past has passed. The present is now, and the future is what will be.

We're through, right from the start of this muckus. Maybe I'm not one who's forgiving you say, someone who is egoistic and unsensitive to your feelings maybe.

But I am definitely no gentleman. I fart in public, I curse and swear at you. I call you a "Bi-atch" in front of everyone. I humiliate you. I make you do stupid things. I stop you from doing things you want to, while I just go ahead and do mine. I don't care much about how you feel, as my feelings are more important. I leave you to cry yourself to sleep at night. I don't pick you up from work. I don't accompany you during lunchtimes even. And a whole host of other things, and you still want this self-centred barbarian in your life?

Too often, I complain lately about ME. Time for me and myself, away from you. And you keep crawling back to me, seeking for the forgiveness from a mistake you were never guilty of. Torture? Maybe. As much as you think I'm torturing you, it would neve r be the same if we walked the same path again.

Maybe it's time I really sit down to rethink my decision.

Yes, I am fickle. It's a Sunday.

Next Saturday, I'll be leaving for KL, and I won't be back till Monday evening. I call it my personal retreat. It'll be a time, where I can sit and discuss with myself, and reflect on what I've done wrong, or right, for the past year. It'll be a time, where I can really stop thinking about anything or anyone.

When I come back, I'll decide. Do I want to continue in this sedition? Would it be a new chapter? Or would it be another painful paragraph? A new book perhaps, revolving around lust, and desire?

I don't know. I really don't. Maybe I won't know.

A bit more about me. People may think that I am a planner, that is, I plan my life, and I plan for whatever bumps and humps along the way. But in reality, I am more of an impulsive anticipator of sorts. Being brilliant, I anticipate actions, feelings, words, and perhaps the circumstances, and more often than not, they are pretty close to accurate. Based on these Gut sense, I plan my angle of attack, and see where I can tackle these problems, especially, how I can best avoid the pitfalls.

Thanks Mr Tong. Your aura has dissipated to me.

Sheer Brillance, that Man is.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 12:21 pm

Saturday, May 14, 2005
Unpublished Testimonial Pt 1

Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself
Cause I didn't know you
Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never felt
The feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don't hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choice

When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby, please
Cause we belong together
Who else am I gon' lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody better
Oh, baby we belong together

---------------------------------------------

I'm not asking for the moon, nor the stars.
Nor the whole world at the palm of my hands.
Life ain't easy since we're together,
And Life ain't no easier when we're apart.

Everyday, I cast a shadow,
A Shadow of deceit, and denial
For I know that one day, this day would come
And haunt me.

There's nothing more between us.
You've grown up to be a strong, and wonderful young lady.
For me? Let me be.
For I still have my future, and dreams ahead of me.

Maybe you're right,
I never was the perfect person.
I fought so hard to keep you by my side,
But there's so much more we can do when we're apart.

I'm giving myself a break from you,
And returning to reality,
Cos the fairytale has kept me delusioned.
But the truth is hard to accept
And the real world, is seldom forgiving.

I see bits of me in you these days,
The fighting spirit, The ADI-ego.
It's there not without reason
You grow stronger day by day.

Seldom words can really mean,
What I want to say to you
But since the day we've been apart
I have not been thinking of you.

*OUCH*

------------------------------------------

Drummer, base solo please.
We're gonna do some Sith this week, and I'm clearing the Darths to make it happen.

My Northern Soul, my pillar, I guess this would sum it up.

And the nurse who's been nursing my wound, you got a nice smile too.

Take care everyone.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 12:06 pm

Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Quit P-Laying Me

ARGH~!

Feeling all crappy again. Happy one moment, crampy the next.

I'm getting mixed signals from everyone. Are we in, or are we out? Am I still needed? Or do I have to bow out humbly? Can you at least break it to me?

Oh well...

Short one.

Going KL next weekend.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 10:48 pm

Sunday, May 08, 2005
The Girl with the Nice Smile

The human face does play a big role in portraying the attractiveness of a person. Simply put, a pretty face = cute and nice girl. No need for assets, no need for personality. It's all in the face.

So what's in a face? If you think that a face is the eyes, the nose, the mouth, the cheeks, or the forehead, I beg to differ. Those parts only make up the head.

The face is a Smile. That's all you need. A head without a smile, is like money without value.

Of late, I've been paying a lot of attention to smiles. I love to smile, and I love smiles. Seeing a smile the first thing in the morning, and the first thing at school or work, does give the day a great start. Not a weak smile, but a cheerful and enthusiastic smile. Nothing like a good smile to start your day.

Wanna see some smiles of people close to my heart? Here's a few. Many thanks to those featured. I know u guys wont mind...

People don't smile enough. Even clowns. Clowns have painted smiles. TV stars have publicity smiles. Models have plastic smiles. Me? I just have a long-lasting smile. *LOL*

So what else is new eh?

While the eyes are the windows to the soul, and the tummy the way to the heart, I believe that the smile is a representation to the strength of a person. It's no mean feat keeping a smile on one's face, especially amidst all the problems that he or she faces in life.

As our problems grow, it becomes harder to maintain the smile, especially so if we're caught up in the never-ending rat-race. The rat race is getting increasingly challenging. Times are not like before.

Not many people can keep a smile going. I can't. I have my downtimes too.

Too often, I'm the joker, I am the happy-go-lucky guy, with no problems, no sweat, no pressure. And very few people can understand the stuff I put myself through.

But it's ok. I'm not one to be understood. I'm just someone who understands, most of the time, it's one way trafic. But I'm no bothered. It's okay. I'm doing fine, as always. Always happy, always smiling.

Optimism pays.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 8:18 pm

Thursday, May 05, 2005
End of Days - Freedom Begins

I do hope the title is self-explanatory.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 11:55 pm

Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Always a First, Never the Last

Enough about soccer.

Today was boring. The super-ambitious people from the Outback Adventure Challenge aka Ubin Challenge are really biting off more than they can chew. Guys, there's only 25 days left. Please don't surprise the management with new ideas. The tee-shirt thingy is really the last thing we should do. No more changes guys. And Ady, that includes you.

Nothing else to say.

I'm beginning to hate financial planners. Bloody buggers. Don't come up to me anymore.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 10:06 pm

ESPN Soccernet Match Report

Luis Garcia's first-half strike ensured Anfield can boast a new crop of legends as Liverpool overcame Chelsea 1-0 to reach the Champions League final.

With just over three minutes gone, Steven Gerrard flicked the ball forward and Milan Baros hurtled after it, just managing to lob it over Petr Cech before being brought crashing to the ground.

Referee Michel Lubos refused a penalty but Garcia was onto the ball in a flash, clipping it goalwards, with the spin ensuring William Gallas could not recover in time to hook it off the line.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 7:31 am

Tuesday, May 03, 2005
I ran!

Knocked of work early today, to go exercise at the gym. Thanks Benjamin. Finally I found a fat exercise freak, who's also an ex-rugger, to do gym work with me! The main reason I'm not motivated to exercise, is because I don't have enough discipline to push myself hard enough. Thanks Ben.

So after lunch, I really made myself scarce. I was in the filing store, rearranging the files. NIGHTMARE! I did not bring my handphone into the store, and I was there all alone with me, myself, my MP3's and not forgetting my files which I wish were non-existant. Maybe my phone was ringing non-stop, maybe my emails were calling out my name, I won't know.

On the way home, I had this crazy idea. I want to drink myself silly drunk on my next pay. Maybe just bare dry gin on the rocks, or perhaps bourbon, but I definitely want to drink myself silly. Anyone wanna accompany me? Treat yourself la... Get in touch with me if you're interested, k?

Oh ya... Dr Wee Kim Wee, the ex-president of the Republic of Singapore passed away over the weekend. He was a good man, a good man indeed. I can't remember much about him, as I only remembered him as the President, and I only saw him once a year on the Googlebox during the 'live' telecasts of the National Day Parade. May his body rest in peace, his soul lie to rest in a well-deserved place, and his deeds be remembered for eternity. The State flags flew at half-mast today, as a sign of respect for the late Dr Wee.

Gonna knock off early tonight. The crunch Champions' League match is on tonight, as the Russian Army take on the Spanish Armada at Anfield. Tonight will determine if the Reds have a real shot at Champions' League glory, or if the Blues can claim the prized Treble. The Reds have are a formidable force at Home, and Les Blues have a lot to prove.

Will await the verdict.

Have a good time everyone.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 8:17 pm

Monday, May 02, 2005
Feeling in Between...

Here, there and everywhere.

Ubin was pretty tiring. Everyone had a good time despite the aches and sores. Yup. The rain was a hamper, but our spirits were not dampened by the heavy downpour.

My thighs hurt, especially thanks to a particular somebody who did not want to cycle while cycling tandem. Nice ride eh? You so owe me a massage man. But all of us had fun.

Arrived at Ubin just before eleven, and after all the necessaries, we arrived at Maman beach at noon. It was too hot to do anything, so out came the groundsheets, the drinks, the games and the stories. Stories about anything, and everything. But what was especially odd was that everything we talked about, always ended up in silence, and enjoying the warm seabreeze. Fantasies, dreams, hopes, aspirations, childhood, to some extent, sexcapades too. But out of respect of the ladies, details were spared.

So caught in the rain, so naturally we had to wait out the rain. What are mudguards used for?

Sat around after that for dinner at As-Salihin, next to the 24 hour clinic near Tamp East CC. Good food, great company, what else can I ask for? Thanks peeps.

So I got back around 9+. Shagged, tired, drained. Slept not long after, probably around 10 or maybe before.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Abs called. 10 times maybe. Too shagged, tired and drained to answer the calls. Even mom had to come into the room to pick up my phone. i nearly had my head chopped off.

This lack of trust thingy is really putting me off. Do I need to take drastic steps before you trust me again? I don't think so. You'll never trust me again. Ever.

I made ONE major mistake, and you never recovered from it. I decided to overlooked all the things you did wrong, and pass them off, and move on, hoping that you'd learn somethings from it, but you never did.

This relationship has, for too long, been all about you, hasn't it. You're content with it aren't you? I'm not. I'm not backing out here, just because I'm running away from the truth, just that for too long, I've had to put up with you, your jealousy, your protectiveness, and your inate ability to just make me lose face in the presence of your friends, just when they have a good picture of me.

Are you afraid, dear? Are you afraid that I am too perfect? Are you afraid that all your friends think that I am the perfect boyfriend for you, and that they too would want to 'steal' me away from you, thus you turn me into a monster? I am not a perfect person. There's so many things I cannot do. It's something I must live with everday. I wish I can take it all away.

That won't happen darling. I won't fall for your friends, and I doubt your friends would do the same.

So now we're in between. As much as I don't want to lose you, my heart is crying for some loving, some attention and some closure.

What next?

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 12:55 pm

	Name : Bambang Suryadi Location : Upnorth, Singapore
	A little bit of here, a little bit of there. I'm a little bit of everywhere. You gotta find out more about me, to know where I'd be
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