: : ADi is Dreamy. Capture it. : :

Monday, March 28, 2005
Heightened Status id Emergency

There is a problem.

It's a Monday morning. It's 7.30am. I just got up. I'm late. But I'll still take time for an update.

There is another problem.

It is NOT okay to tell your girlfriend ALL that she wants to hear, even though you know it isn't true. You end up putting a foot in your mouth, with a socky aftertaste when you take it out.

There is yet another problem.

Exercising rights she calls it. Queen Control I say. Let go of this control you control freak~! I promise you, I shall soon snap if this doesn't stop soon. You just wait.

There is no problem.

Am I over-reacting? Or am I just keeping my head cool? Too cool? No problemo! If you can't take the heat, have a good tan!

Oh, yes.

Aparently some strange phenomenon has occured and ALL the ladies' numbers have been deleted. So drop me a mail with your numbers.

No emergency.

So I'm late. Who cares? It's a Monday anyway.

Abby, Thanks.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 7:34 am

Friday, March 25, 2005
~ Catfight !

I'm a lying unfaithful cheat. I lie to you that all is fine, I cheat you of your love, and lastly, I'm unfaithful to you. You too good for me, better than any I've got.

All is fine. I lied. All is not fine, with us especially. I'm still shattered after what has happened but I want more out of us. You've given up so much to me. And I can't thank you more. I'm happier that you're happy, at least for as long as it lasted. My happiness is still a long way to go. Yup, I'm a lying bastard.

I cheat you of your love. Yes, you've sacrificed tears, time and energy or it. You even risked your future on me. I never told you that I cherish your love and sacrifice, and I never showed it to you. But I do. I just didn't show it.

Flirt as much as I would, I'm only true to one. Ask anyone about me, and yes, the ADi that you're talking about would be ADi Flirt, or ADi Playboy. But I know the line. Words are words. But actions remain actions. You'd be in awful shock if I told you that many would love to be where you are right now. I'm not saying I'm in demand cos I'm good looking. I definitely am not. Many of them tell me that you're one lucky girl, that you have a guy like me, who cares deeply for you, although he is a total ass. Unfaithful you may call it. Easy-going say others.

Life's all about happiness and taking things lightly. That's happy-go-lucky me.

I don't expect anything from you, really. All I want is a companion, someone with good advice to give, someone who listens rather than hears, and someone who can put up with all the crap that I can throw at you. Likewise, I am not inflexible. I will also be your companion, give you advice and catch all the crap you're throwing at me. As much space as I want, I give you. I just want the same space back.

"If you love someone, you gotta let go. If he loves you, he'll come back ."

Catfight~

Friends are forever. Lovers are temporary. Or is it the other way? I won't know.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 9:30 pm

Thursday, March 24, 2005
Minus the fat, please.

I'm getting fat. Real fat. I can feel my lovehandles hanging over my waistline. Yes, i'm that fat.

Six months ago today, I didn't feel fat. I didn't need to fell fat. I was much happier then. I had more stamina, felt better about myself, and brisk walking wasn't even tiring. But now?

A few extra kilos does make me not so better off. I wobble these days. Yes, I do. The wobbling is so bad, I can lose my balance while walking. And it doesn't help it that I like carrying bags, and my oversized shoes keep stepping on everyone's toes. Being fat sucks.

For some strange reason, I'm gonna go for a run tomorrow morning. No more delays, no more putting off. Over the next three weeks, I'm gonna go exercise. A mixture of cardio-vascular excercises and a bit of weight training to get my fat burning, and my calories losing.

So.. cheer me on!

Who knows, by the end of the month, I may be a fitter, better-looking person afterall. Abby is so going to kill me.

So let's take out those shoes from the cupboard and strap em on, and let's all go run towards better health!

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 7:51 pm

Sunday, March 20, 2005
Grave still open... Digging no more.

Hi Abby!

My preceeding post refers.

I would like to suggest that you please refrain from reading into the matter too deeply, for it may hurt your feelings.

We pledged our future to each other, and everlasting love for eternity. This is also a step towards opening up all the doors of secrecy. And the biggest secret has been unfolded.

Abby, I love you. Everthing about you. No mountain can come in our way. For our love, is too strong for that.

Thanks for everything dear. EVERY SINGLE THING.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 6:35 pm

I miss her.

Abby, probably you won't take this too easily, but let me confess to my blog, that I miss her. I don't know why the sudden feelings, but I miss her. It's just a sudden rush of feelings & emotions, that indeed, I do think about her from time to time. I enjoy the risks I take, so let this risk taken kill me, then the risk i never took.

Not that I love you less, Abby. I've just been thinking about her a little bit more. My heart, body and mind is still for you, B. But a teeny weeny bit of memory is thinking about her. If you're gonna jump tonight cos of this, I don't blame you. Cos I know, you think of me 24-7, and i'm being unfair to you. But I can't deny memory, and I'll be unfair to me, if i continue to deny that.

Such is love, so strong, even after the waves die down, and a new day has dawn, one still remembers how beautiful love is, or love can be.

Someone once told me, in a relationship, you need some space. There are times in the relationship where it's always about sex, about attention, about being secure, about trust, about space. Like how you need to have the freedom to go places, to meet faces, it's this space that I yearn for.

I miss her.

Not for the space she given me, but for the space she given herself. She allows herself some mistakes, some errors, and doesn't blame herself for it. She takes calculated risks, understanding the need for it, and acts impulsively.

I miss the way she thinks. I miss how she'd tease my size, and actually threatened to leave me if I grew any larger. But she never did. I miss the way she'd tell her stories, with the light in her eyes, shining back at me, and her smile, and her interest to just make you wonder if you're truly the luckiest man alive at that time. I miss her smile most. I miss her temper. I miss her eyes.

No, and it's not Dee i'm talking about, darling. It's someone I loved more that her.

But now, she's gone. And you're here, right before me, staring back and me. Kill me if you want. But you can't take away my memories from me.

I love you Abby.

Cherish the love you have, for it may never return.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 11:33 am

Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Midweek. Lonely. Just me and my MP3 Player. And a Broom.

Parents are out on a short holiday for 4 nights to West Malaysia. So I got the whole house to me, myself and my MP3s. IT's a bit lonely here, nothing to do, no noise, kinda lonely.

It's a bit freaky. There's no one at home. Sometimes in the dead of the night, I hear strange clicking sounds from OUTSIDE the window. It's so quiet around the house, that you can actally hear the crickets from the outside. Living on the 4th floor, it's actually THAT close to the ground.

Anyone wanna come over? Anyone at all? Keep me company... We can chat all night, eat all the ice cream, watch Cable, listen to MP3s while telling stories all night, if you want to. If you would like something more interesting on a weeknight, I can take you on a quick moonlight tour of Yishun on bikes and we can spend the night staring at stars at the nearby Seletar dam.

Like last week, it's meetings galore this week again. Getting to be a little sick and tired of it, actually. The project vendor from Roxwell Engineering is pretty hot actually... She's 3o though. So my outgrown bachelor guy friends can try to get to know her better if you want to.

I've been looking through my photo collection too, lately. Nice to know that Nurizz did recognise Arina's face from the pictures. Well, it's THE only remaining photograph of the 1985-ers. The rest have all gone up in smoke, or have disappeared, or faded beyond recognition.

My new printer is indeed up to scratch. Super fast in economy mode. Almost as crisp as a laser printer too. Indeed worth my cash.

This weekend is coming up, and I doubt I'll have the time for an update till then. Just busy with work and cleaning up the house, preparing for my mum's return either tomorrow night or Friday.

Whatever it is, it still needs to be clean!

Abby, I love you.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 9:22 pm

Saturday, March 12, 2005
New Breath of Colour

Nothing great.
Up to 17ppm, 4 individual cartridges DURAbrite ink system, up to 2880x1440 pixels, with border free printing, its all that I can ask for.

Bought the Epson C65 printer today at the IT Exhibition at Suntec today.

It was madness. Exhibitors filled the 3rd and 4th floor exhibition halls, with probably 10,000 other visitors jam-packed in the place, with only 30 mins to go before the whole place closes for the night, all hoping for last minute offers. And guess what! The major printing people, like Brother, HP, Canon, Epson where there, and they were giving away free trolleys to bring home our 'loot'! Isn't that Great??!!

I went with some of the Ghufran mosque volunteers who also wanted to go there, and there was this particular 14-year old who kinda got stuck to me, probably because I was teamed up with her, and 3 other people for the MENDAKI event earlier that afternoon. Maybe she wasn't so comfortable with the rest. It's nice that she was calling me 'Abang Bambang' all the way. Nice people they are. But somehow, I hated working with them. Skivers...

Abby, I love you. See you tomorrow at two.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 10:28 pm

Thursday, March 10, 2005
Weeklong Meeting of Sorts

The Police Workplan Seminar is drawing near, and as previous years, my dept is scurrying around, and shuttling all over the place, between meetings and daily work, making P&O as busy as ever.

On top of the WPS 2005 load, there's also the load of those who actually have work to do of their own, which are undelegated, non-delegatable, non-arrowable. So now's the time that the NS guys are really stretched thin; thinner than 60 gsm paper, thinner than butter on hot toast. So the NS men in P&O are becoming Supermen. Less than 25% of the total workforce in this prestigious Department, doing nearly half the job of the WHOLE department, especially for this WPS.

Oh well...

I've got meetings this week, all sweet 4 days of it. Probably if I hadn't taken Tuesday off, I would have had one then too. I'm sick of all the neverending meetings with everyone.

Abby, I love you. Our meeting this Sunday is confirmed. It will be at 12, near where we met the last time we were there. No need to take notes, I'll do it.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 6:39 am

Tuesday, March 08, 2005
8th March 2005, Twenty years ago

I was born.

Mount Elizabeth Hospital, Orchard Road, Singapore.

1.05 PM.

Mum is Sutedjowatie Soedarto. Dad is Mohamed Razib Abdul Rahim.

I was named Bambang Suryadi, as my parents couldn't think of a name for me, so they turned to my grandad, Soedarto Soerokaryo for a name.

In the past twenty years, I had two deaths (or three). All of old age. I wonder how death feels. But definitely I don't want to experience it too soon.

The past twenty years, also saw the birth of 35 cousins, none of whom are married.

It also saw the brakdown of 3 marriages, affecting 8 children.

That's in gist.

Read my blog for more.

But today, I had a good day with Abby. Definitely a good day. I love you Abby.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 10:53 pm

Sunday, March 06, 2005
Creative MuVo V200 512MB

That was my birthday gift from MOM.

I really did not expect it. For all the shit that I am to her, she's still kind enough to get me an MP3 player. I so wanted the iPod Shuffle, but it's ok. At least she got me an mp3 player, all 512 MB of it. But can someone explain to me why the effective memory is only 495 MB? where's my other 17 MBs? It can fit another 8 songs (compressed) to add to my 125 songs inside the player already. Oh well. nevermind.

Thanks MOM!

Words really can't describe my joy, and I don't think anything else can. So I guess this MuVo is another must-bring, on top of my, identity card, my handphone, my warrant card, my ATM, my EZ-link and of course my pic with Abby. I might just need to bring a suitcase sooner or later... Right now, it's just a pouch.

Happy as ever!

Take care dudes.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 10:23 am

Saturday, March 05, 2005
Wrong when mentioned, Not right when quiet

Sometimes
Rain falls down on me.
Get's me wet you see
Rain comes down on me...

These days
Rain falls harder on me...
Makes me wetter you see
Rain falls harder on me.

I've never felt this love from you,
Always loving you the wrong way...
You're always in my dreams...
Staring back at me...

So don't you ever go away
Leaving me here out in the cold.
I will always want you here
Don't let go, from the hold...

Never, have I ever felt this way...
Never, would I ever know what to say...

It's wrong when said and feels guilty when not,
I'd never know why I feel this way...
Don't you ever go away
Leaving me here..

I've never felt this love from you,
Always loving you the wrong way...
You're always in my dreams...
Staring back at me...

So don't you ever go away
Leaving me here out in the cold.
I will always want you here
Don't let go, from the hold...

Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 1:09 pm

Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Today feels nothing like yesterday.

It's amazing that somethings happen when you least expect it.

Lately, I've been getting some sort of spiritual uplift. I decided to return to my roots.

Beckoning God's calls.

Nothing much else to say.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 11:35 pm

Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Day 02 - PM

Feeling better. Mom came back this evening. I'd like to thank everyone who's heard me out. I really owe it to you guys, for keeping me sane and rational.

Must congratulate my bro for staying strong. I never expected him to behave so responsibly today. Anyway...

Today was a good day. Had tons of work to clear when I came in today. But slowly, and surely, I painfully cleared it.

Intelligence lasts. Not beauty. I have had enough of beautiful people, not cos I'm jealous cos I dun have the looks. People with beauty seem to have A-R-R-O-G-A-N-C-E written all over them. So you girls looks good, but it's no point if you don't have the brains to boot the god looks.

Well, I like smart people. People who can outsmart me. People with big (not HUGE) egos, and the intelligence to boot. They turn me on. There's nothing like a good developmental argument on a sleepy Sunday morning. That'd squeeze the brain juices out of you.

Oh well... Not all the smart are pretty, not all the pretty are arrogant.

I'm just happy the way it is.

Abby, I love you!

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 11:03 pm

So this morning, I woke up super early to see that Dasuki was well taken care of before he left for school. Made sure that he had his breakfast, made sure that he had a good shower, made sure that he wasn't late.

So, it's a bit early, but I already sent him packing for school. I don't know if i want to be on half-day today, just to make sure that he's okay for the 2nd half of the day. Oh well, he'll be 8 by the end of the month, and I must say, except for bouts of Wimpiness, he's quite a strong and responsible person. I've said it, so there.

Independent by nature he is. A little bit headstrong sometimes, but really, he's my PESKY Little Brother! And I love him the way he is. I see some bits of myself in him, and traits of some of my close friends. Well, he's got my cheekiness, and bits of my intelligence. He's got the integrity of a monk, very much like, i dunno.. He's headstrong, like I said earlier, like ZuL and Dee. Maybe it's the star. An Aries Boy. He'll grow up to be a good leader, I must say. Dogged determination to succeed, success without much effort. I've seen some friends like that, going astray when they get complacent. But I'm not worried (but thinking how Dee struggled does force some worry). I know that he won't let himself down.

Aries, here's your horoscope for today.

Something's going on in the background of your life and this could make you hesitate about being so upfront and candid in the future. Trust your hunches, follow your instincts and the consequences will surprise you. As much as you want to get ahead, someone has been deliberately leading you astray. Now you realise what has been going on, you will also grasp the need to keep some of your plans secret. What people don't know about, they can't interfere with or object to.

I have no idea what that means. It's probably too basic for Pisceans like me to understand.

After some initial struggle, you will find that you can manage a job very well on your own and you don't need extra assistance. This might take you by surprise when you may not have thought you had it in you. Once others notice how well you are doing, you could be bombarded with appeals for help. Without making too much of a song and dance about it, insist on being left to get on with your own business. Refuse to take on anyone else's burdens when you have enough to do yourself!

There we go! My stars are telling me so much about my week already. Perhaps I should just remain optimistic, and try to make things as normal as possible.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 6:53 am

	Name : Bambang Suryadi Location : Upnorth, Singapore
	A little bit of here, a little bit of there. I'm a little bit of everywhere. You gotta find out more about me, to know where I'd be
View my complete profile