: : ADi is Dreamy. Capture it. : :

Tuesday, November 30, 2004
It's not THAT bad... Only IF...

If you have a friend.

Six letters, and a whole world of a difference.

Love them, and treasure them when they're around. Don't forget them if they disappear. Be there for everyone. Give good advice. But don't expect it back, or you will be hurt.

A kiss is still a kiss, but a sigh is just a sigh.

Some things are better left unsaid, and some stories are better left untold.

Abby, Enjoy your day!

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 11:12 am

This is about an urge.

The urge for companionship.
For I am someone, who longs for a eternity of friendship.
I don't need your love.
But I need your attention.

Nevermind the promises you made.
It's okay if you can't fulfil them.
Nevermind how I feel.
For Only time will heal them.

I hurt you more than once.
And I've been hurt too.
But it's ok, Baby.
This time it's not your fault.

It's something I did.
It's something someone said.
The thing is, I don't even know why I'm hurt.
But I'm hurt.

Baby, I'd like to have you around more often.

Abby, I need you now more than anything else. Friends are coming and going and I really don't know who turn to. For you are the only person whom I know will stick through with me till the end. Thanks.

My Horoscope today says: Help from a mysterious source is on the way, so be on the watch for it. Don't waste time questioning whether you deserve such a bounty. Consider it a reward for all the times you've stayed up late listening to friends' problems and ministering to needy relatives. Any money you receive should go towards a project that affords personal fulfilment.

I hope it's more than just money.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 1:08 am

Sunday, November 28, 2004
Volunteering

YO!

It's been a few days since I last checked in. Boy I was busy. ANyone missed me? Heh heh! Thought so..

Anyways,
I just got back from one of my volunteering activities. Dead shagged and tired. ARGH! Got caught in the rain. I was in the rain. soaked from head to toe, and mud rode up to my thighs. Couldn't help running around, cos I have always had this thing about the volunteer organisation that I'm volunteering my services, that they are quite incapable of any planning that involves thousands. really. for maybe a small group of 200, they handle it quite well, but seriously, when the number exceeds 500, you guys are screwed up, big time. Sorry guys, I know you have policies about costs and other things, but u really must consider the practicalness of things. Small players can only serve up small games, big players can serve up both big and small games, think about that.

It's ok that you don't have a wet weather programme. It can really be difficult for an event of this magnitude, but really, you guys must really put in factors about weather and the morale of the visitors. It's really uncalled for to have HUNDREDS of people standing queueing up for food! Ladies, this is SINGAPORE! The only reason that they're queueing up, is cos it's damn bloody free! This is not AFGHANISTAN or some part of Africa or some NYC Ghetto!

Bah... I've spoken to some of you on thins. I'm too frustrated to discuss more. You guys gotta pull up your socks, especially in public events, if you wanna keep up the image.

Abby, I love you. I'm damn tired, but i'm glad you stuck thru it all.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 10:47 pm

Nice Smile eh? That's me!

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 12:25 pm

Friday, November 26, 2004
Aidilfitri Power-Visit

YP Power Visit

Its interesting what kids do these days. Hari Raya has taken a new twist, especially among the younger generation. Its not only about visiting neighbours, friends and relatives, its also a time of forgiveness and strengthening bonds. But kids these days.. Hari Raya is more like a bonus to them. No longer do they visit Only friends and family for the little money packets that they're entitled to receive, they're also starting to visit strangers; people they don't even know! Not that it's a bad thing, really..

It's a power visit.
1 Arrive in traditional costume and knock on the door HArd or press on the doorbell repeatedly, like illegal debt collectors. then give a cheshire grin and ask 'Makcik, kita nak datang Hari Raya, boleh?' (Madam, can we come to your house for Hari Raya? Well, you know what we want. we'll take it and go and you won't even know we came.). Something like that.
2 So the poor old lady has to obligingly open the door, in the spirit of Hari Raya, and let them in. So they come in, all probably 5 or 6 of them and up to 10 at times, and sit on the sofa, and eat the cakes and kueh. The nice old lady thens goes to the kitchen to make the drinks and serve them up chilled.
3 The lady then goes into the room (or wherever she keeps the money envelopes. My late grandma keeps some in the fridge and kitchen cabinet) and prepares the packets while these kids sit down and make a mess on the floor, sofa, table and wherever they can mess up.
4 When she returns, the kids start poking each other, prompting one another to ask to leave the house. 'Makcik, kita dah nak balik.' (Madam, we're leaving. You can give us the pakets filled with money now, and they better not be coins.)
5 Its barely ten minutes and they're leaving? The poor old lady probably haven't even got the chance to ask their names, and know a little bit more about these kids. So the distributes the precious money packets and shows them the door. 'Datang lagi ye?' (Do come back. Soon. And help me clean up the mess you made with all that crumbs. And no, I'm not going to give you any packets for that.)
6 So the poor old lady has to spend maybe another 30 minutes to clean up their mess.

In terms of time investment, this is definitely something with negative returns. She spends maybe 40 minutes on her feet and entertaining her 'guests'but spends less than 40 seconds talking to them.

But they're kids. I used to do that too.

So i'd like to take this time to seek forgiveness to all the poor old ladies whom I've power-visited in the past, especially those who barely or don't even know me. My name is Bambang, or ADi, or Mohamed, or Razak, or Ahmad, or Din, or Yusuf, or something or rather. Thanks for the drinks, nice kueh and the $2 you gave. It wasn't enough. I spent it all on sweets and sweet drinks.

And to my aunts whom I've visited this year, especially to Bik Hanan, Wak Neno, and Paman, the 2 bucks you gave this year has gone a long way. Thanks! Can you give more next year? I don't power-visit, and you know that. I'm your friggin nephew, and I came to seek forgiveness and other stuff. And i don't make any mess.

I'd also like to take this oppurtunity to wish all my muslim friends, and visitors to my humble thrash-loaded site, a

SELAMAT HARI RAYA! MAAF ZAHIR BATIN!

Make sure when I come by your place next year, you got the money bags out and ready for collection.

Wa ka ka ka ka!

Abby, nice site.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 11:37 am

Today was a good day. Work was evenly spread out, and I even got time to take a quick nap during lunch after the Deepa-Raya Celebrations. Left work promptly at 6, and went to meet Abby at her place.

OC had his Aidilfitri open house today, and I went with Abs. Nice food. Thanks, sir. Tahun depan jemput lagi, ye.

Abby,

Thanks for understanding. Thanks for forgiving. Thanks for giving me the chance.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 1:48 am

Thursday, November 25, 2004
Morals = Interests? Maybe.

jus wondering.. how come we call ex-cons, ex-convicts? why are we separating them from society, in a way? have they become 2nd class citizens jus cos they spend a part of their lives behind concrete bars? those who do not repent from their errors, maybe. but surely, those who have repented and forgiven themselves would like to contribute to society and be iaccepted by society.

its the same as transvestites. why do we shun them, or make fun of them, jus cos of their sexual dis-orientation? is it cos they're different?

if so, then how about lesbians and gays? what about them? go to any girls school and u find them. got to any Art institution and you can find them too. What if you found out that your best buddy wasn't straight? would you forsake a friendship cos of that?

how about habits? do we differentiate pple with habits that are 'out of norm'?

as society matures and progresses, many lines are blurred, or completely erased. lines between morals and interests are not as clear as before.

think about it.

Abby, I love u

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 11:05 am

Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Music Lover I am not.

Just curious, what drives our music preferences. What makes us like a certain type of song? Why is pop always more popular than other genres? How come then there are songs which some people like but others don't?

Why do plastic manufactured boybands do so well initially, only to 'dissapear' after a couple of years?
Why does Britney have copycats?
Why do some artistes from long ago make a come back and are well received now, especially among the middle aged, and even the youngsters?
Why do most evergreens come from the 80's? Would artistes of the new millenuim have evergreens too?

Jus sharing some thoughts.

Personally, I like easy-listening songs, that are easy on my ears. Occasionally, I'd listed to hip hop. Sometimes a bit of Jazz, Alternative punk and Pop too... Not an ardent music lover, but I can definitely tell good musac apart from a bad one. Most of the time, I'd listen to the radio, Perfect 10 98.7FM [www.perfect10.com.sg].

Abby, it's ok.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 2:45 pm

Monday, November 22, 2004
Back to Work!

Back to work after 9 glorious days at home. It was really painful to come in to work. It's kinda like returning to school after a long school holiday.

About working, someone put up a tonue-in-cheek memo on the Notice Board. It read:

Reasons Why You Needn't Work Overtime

The employment contrat sates that office hours are now from 8.30 am to 6.00 pm.
Work is a never-ending process. Even if you stay overnight, you'll never finish it.
Humans are not robots. And even robots need to stop working for maintenance.
Your career is important, but your family is even more important.
If you screwed up your life, your boss won't help. But your family would.
You don't want to screw up your life of make it miserable because of your job.
Monthly salary = work from 8.30 am to 6.00 pm, Mondays to Fridays
If anyone disagrees with the above statements, they're heartless losers, have no life to lead and are doomed workaholics. Potential 'Employee of the Year!'
You don't give a damn if your boss fires you.
You can always get another job.

Dumb, smart, witty in some lame way or another. Haha!

Where do we go from here? hmmm...

Anyone out there with a blog account, do attach mine to yours, and let me attach yours to mine. You can just drop me an email too. It's :looking4adi@hotmail.com

Abby, see you later.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 5:45 pm

Fuck it.

I'm too tired for this.

Abby, I love you. I had a great time today.

Meeting up with ur TK frenz was indeed a wonderful experience and I look forward to their production this December.

For the rest of you, there's a Malay theatre production by Theatre Kami, and details are as follows.
When: 3-5 December. 8.00 PM. But Tix for 3rd are sold out, and remaining tix are selling fast.
Where: Esplanade Theatre Studio
Tix details: Tix are $15. $10 for NS men and senior citizens. $8.50 for NTUC card holders. Tix available from SISTIC at 6348-5555. Prices do not include $1 SISTIC Fee.

Good Luck Guys. I'll see all of you there.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 12:06 am

Sunday, November 21, 2004
The Malay Reality Hurts!

Earlier I had a very interesting MSN [www.msn.com] discussion with Rudy [northernsoul85@hotmail.com] about the mentality of the Malays and why we feel suppressed.
Is the community to be blamed? or ourselves?

It's a common understanding and stereotype that the Malays are, well lazy. They're not hungry for success and incapable of improvement.

Before I start, let me get some things clear. These are my views, and I do not represent anyone else's. I am in no way responsible for how this information is used. If u guys disagree with me, fuck it and write a comment. If you refuse to accept mt thoughts as true or justified, just go put a finger up your bottom and take a deep whiff of it. Stop being in denial. Reality Hurts. Again, these are my views.

Malays, like any other race, Chinese, Indian, White, Black, whatever, have a set of morals, and values. Some of these values are universal, like loving your faily and respecting the elderly. Others are based largely on religion. With over 85% of Malays in SouthEast Asia, mainly in Singapore and Malaysia being Muslim, some of these values and teachings are based on the teachings of Islam.

One of them is kesyukuran and alah kadar, or the attitude to be thankful for what the Creator has given us. This teaches us to live in moderation in all aspects of life, and Not to be too lavish in our lifestyle. There really is no need for a BMW if a Toyota is enough. A 40 room mansion is definitely too much for a family of 5, or even 5 families (assuming each has 4 members).
Sadly, this attitude is prevalent in some, if not most Malays, in most aspects of life, especially in fields of sucess. Everyone wants to be successful. But how successful do we want to be? For us, it usually means moderately successful. Being moderately successful is enough and we must also be thankful for this moderate success as there are surely others less successful than us. *shit thinking.* Not hungry for success we are.
Especially in a meritocratic Nation like Singapore, and increasingly Malaysia as well, being mediocre surely won't bring success. A diploma is good enough, some say. Skills are more important than paper qualifications, others say. This still remains a debatable issue.

This attitude breed laziness, and does not help in dislodging the stereotype that Malays are lazy.

Which brings us to the next issue. Malays feel that they're suppressed. They feel that the society, and Govt even, are depriving Malays the oppurtunity to succeed, no matter how hard they try, just because of being Malay. An unjustified accusation which, also, is debatable and definitely no one, especially an influential public figure, would dare to admit its validity.
The Singapore Govt has policies that are in place to help the Malays, most of which are in the lower income bracket of society. HOPE, or Home Ownership PLus Education aims at preparing young (under 35) couples who are also lowly educated (lessthan 2 O Levels) for a family, providing retraining courses and priority to public housing.

On top of that, there are 2 malay Self help groups, Mendaki and AMP, more than what's available for the other races. Get more govt funding..

There's more to that than what i mentioned. Chances and oppurtunities are available. But sadly, the malays have yet to capitalise on them.

I'm stressed out.

I'm worried too.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 1:43 am

Friday, November 19, 2004
Best of Both Worlds

Anyone had the Mudpie from Coffee Bean before? Good stuf.. but u goota warm it up first. Taken with a mocha latte and maybe with good company, it completes your day.

I was at coffee bean today, the one at Paragon, with a friend, and we were chatting all afternooon... it was raining, so any outdoor activity dint happen. It was fun talking and knowing her better. got teased till i could not take it and she exposed all my weaknesses and it made me feel dumb.

For once i felt like a Mangkok. You make me feel like a fool. But it was fun to be a fool. No hard feelings.

Nothing much else today, at least not yet. I'll maybe post another one later tonight.

Abby, about yesterday's post please dun get angry. It's something that i just found out after i asked myself some questions. but you're the one whom i truly love, and i truly want to be with.
Freinds like that come and go, and i want to be with u all the time. Baby, love's ups and downs make us stronger when we overcome it together.

Life ain't something you can walk away from.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 7:56 pm

Isn't it funny, that when you already found that special someone in your life, someone else turns up, and turns things on head?

You already have plans for the future, no matter how early it seems, and everything is going on fine.

Then someone else comes along, and you really grow some sort of a fondness to her. And she's in the same situation as you. so u start sharing, thho initially it seems that it's a regular friendship, u can't help but to deny any feelings for her.

I hate it when this happens.

It has happened before, it's happening agaain, and no matter what u tell urself, its always the 'new friend' that's better than the girlfriend.

But you don't have the guts to tell her u like her, cos telling only complicates things, and u dun dare tell your girl, cos telling her would mean suicide.

but we can't have it all can we?

I jus got back form malacca.. earlier at maybe a bit past midnite. it wasn't that bad.. 'Cept that it made me feel like a social worker after visiting to od folks' homes. Was on the road for a fair deal of today. legs are pretty numb and my butt feels sore.. so much for being a ful-time bummer.

I took care of my Bros today.. Feel so proud to be actualy useful around the house..

I hate this keyboard.

Hidayah smsed me too.. she changed her number. she's probably the nicest sweet girl you can ever meet. Fond memories too. maybe next time i'll talk about her.

Abby, Sorry i dint call you tonight.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 2:02 am

Wednesday, November 17, 2004
I lost it.

It's onlt the 3rd day of syawal and i'm already bored with it. it ain't as jolly as it used to. something's bugging me, but i dont really know what. i can't put my finger on it. but definitely its affecting how i feel towards life as a whole and how i interact with people.

Bah...

Tomorrow I'm going for a short trip to malacca.. i hate the idea.. i dun wanna go. but i can't find a good excuse not to. I jus wanna sit home all day and maybe got drunk or something.. but i have to go.. how sad.

so i'll jus drag myself there and play baby sitter and be a good boy and try to make the best of things.

Abby,
Please don't go to cheekys or anywhere else that's like it.. U know i don't like it. I don't want you to go, but i just dun have the heart to tell you to NOT enjoy urself.

Hmm...
You guys out there... anyone know now to put up a tag board? can help me out? i'm still new to this html stuff.. i need help. i got until forever to learn it.. but i wanna do it NOW! technology excites me. but it really its a pain when you actually look smarter than you really are.

Tace Kare.

A life of no tomorrow has no future returns.

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 10:42 pm

Great!

Just got plugged into the net 3 hours ago! I've set up my msn, so u guys can access it, and I also got this thingy going! Yeah!

So i guess it's gonna be pretty plain for now, at least until i get the chance to redesign this personal webpage of mine.. so if you guys got any comments on how to make it nice, jus keep me informed.. Surely I'll see if it fits.

Hari Raya just passed, and you know, i'm not feeling the spirit of it. (damn this keyboard is sticky. I need a new one. Like the one i use in the office.. now, that's soft. Prob cos of all the humping by hafiz.) the spirit of raya jus doesn't flow down my spine. so what if i get cash, it jus doesn't feel right.

Bah..

Maybe a bit of chocolates will help.

Abby, I love you

Take care.

you can add me on msn if you wanna: looking4adi@hotmail.com

nakalboi. Another day is done;
- 4:05 pm

	Name : Bambang Suryadi Location : Upnorth, Singapore
	A little bit of here, a little bit of there. I'm a little bit of everywhere. You gotta find out more about me, to know where I'd be
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