Dreamer.Com

Janji Melayu - Jangan Perangai macam Chibai

2011-10-30T01:52:00.000+08:00

I am writing this with great disappointment. It isn't the first time I'm saying this about mu beloved Malay community, and it won't be the last.

I hate people who are late.. Well, 15-20 mins is fine, or when you have something to occupy yourself with.. And playing games with yourself is NOT occupying your time.

You know those large events where there's a Minister VIP and say it starts at 2 cos that's what the invitation says. It actually starts at 2.30, cos the organisers are considerate enough to think of the late-comers. And the Minister VIP comes at 3.. But of course, some people think that THEY are the VIP (as opposed to the Minister himself) and walks in at 3.30 expecting a fanfare welcome and applauding attendees, coupled with an usher to their seats at the VIP table. Fantastic isn't it?

I admit I have been late on several occasions. But I make it a point to update the person I'm meeting, just so you manage the expectation, some way or the other. Besides, it takes less than a minute to text the person. I mean, how hard can it be?

This shitty janji Melayu crap only happens to orang-orang Melayu. And the 'lateness' ranges anything from 45 minutes to more than 2 hours. OR the person at times doesn't even bother to show up.

If I could, I wanna shoot all of them people who are late. But unfortunately that leaves me with very few friends.

Just because EVERYONE knows you're perenially late, is an excuse you can be late?

Just because you're hot you can be late?

Just because you're the VIP you can be late?

Honestly, where is your integrity in these matters?

So you glitz in like a star, and everything is supposed to be ok, huh?

Well, balls to you.

Because you are that important to me...

2011-09-26T03:51:00.001+08:00

There's this annoying strain in this relationship that I find highly irritating right now. If you don't express your feelings, how am i to know how you feel? Till it's too late of course.

I'm sorry if I'm not being sensitive at the right times. But I feel that I'm at the fucking loss at the moment.

Dammit!

Everything has been slow motion today. I didn't get to watch my race tonight, cos I chose to spend it with you. And what do I get? Crap.

Loads of crap. Crap I don't fucking deserve. You're playing this fucking mindfucking game. A game I know I won't win. You fucking treat me like I don't fucking exist, like it didn't fucking matter if I was around or not. And what the fuck am I supposed to do? Maybe we should just walk away. You can't stand me anymore, I know.

We're both playing this game of just shutting up when something goes wrong. Yea, maybe we should. Just shut up and let life go fucking on.

But no. I want to make this work. You're that raw unpolished gem.

Even if it means I get blasted at for no good reason, so be it. Because you are that important to me.

"I Know... Cos I Love You Too."

2011-09-25T05:07:00.001+08:00

I looked back beyond this current spell, and I saw the smile of an Angel; Pure and simple.

Beauty indescribable. Joyful beyond words. Feelings as strong as ever.

But, I have never heard your declarations. Perhaps you're afraid this would go too fast, too far. And makes me wonder if I'm singing this song, alone.

I recall the nights spent together, in arms, and fingers intertwined, we shared a silent yet meaningful message.

"You can count on me."

"I know..."

"I'll always be here."

"I know."

"I'll always be your Angel."

"I know."

"Thank you for everything."

"There's nothing to thank me for. Thank the friendship."

"We'll never be together..."

"... but we'll never be apart either."

"I love you."

"I know. Cos I love you too."

Be

2011-09-22T11:34:00.001+08:00

When we were kids, we had dreams.
We could be who we wanted to be.

When we were in school, we had ambitions.
We chose what we wanted to be.

When we started working, we had goals.
We worked hard to be who we wanted to be.

When we're parents, we'll have kids.
We'll help them be who they want to be.

Something perhaps, we didn't or couldn't be.

Not everyone has the resources or the ability, but continue to do your best to be who you want to be.

An Everlasting Adventure

2011-09-21T16:38:00.001+08:00

Since I turned 15, I've embarked on an interesting adventure. An adventure in search of Angels.

I've always had one, and one only. I'm not talking about girlfriends here. Both co-exist in the same time, but often in different worlds.

These Angels are relationships I have that is brought about by a more sincere kinda love. The kinda love that I don't expect anything in return. It's not like a rebound, nor a fallacious relationship. It's more of being there them whenever they need a friend, a shoulder, a ear, an extra pair of hands if need be.

But one thing is certain, I've never kissed an Angel. Call it a platonic relationship if you'd like, but it's definitely not an affair.

Angels don't need to be searched, nor found. Neither do they need any sort of mentioned commitment. They just appear in your life, and give you a certain special kind of contentment and happiness, one that needs no description.

An Angel is someone whom you care for deeply, and her insecurities and uncertainty are your top most priority. It's not about making her feel loved, it's about reassuring her that she's never alone in the dark.

When an Angel chooses you, she's one with you. Your opinions matter to her. But she's never your chioce, nor option. You can't force her, but you'll learn how to keep her around. She is your soul, but never your heart.

That's why an Angel can never co-exist with the girlfriend. The girlfriend would get jealous, but the Angel doesn't. Angels don't walk out on you. Even if she wanted to, there's a certain entwinement that keeps her close.

Putting it simply, the Angel is the effervescent glow in the darkest hour, while the girlfriend is the torch that burns brightly.

The adventure doesn't end here. The search for Angels is led by the soul.

The Highest Prize

2011-03-17T23:36:00.001+08:00

It's strange how after so long, and so many mistakes along the way, the most scarce is still what we want.

Surely there's only one Katy Perry, and one Angelina, but among friends, there's always that elusive one that you want; whom you hope for and wait for ages for the right time, that doesn't.

Somehow, you always want the highest fruit from the highest tree, rather than picking something within reach. But are the highest apples really sweeter than the ones on the lower branches? How about those on the floor? Some are ripe for the picking..

Where are you on that tree? Way way up getting lots of sunshine but only those fit enough can get up, or on the lowest branch getting lots of nutrients where anyone who bothers to stretch can give it a go? Or somewhere in between? Or just on the floor trampled by everyone and anyone?

But amazingly, man thrives on curiousity and challenges. We still want that highest fruit. Cos the highest fruit, is the highest prize, literally.

The Bro Code

2010-02-27T04:00:00.000+08:00

No bro shall drink alone.

No bro shall turn down an invite to free food.

Bros shall accept any challenge posed by non-bros, especially when it comes to drinking games.

No bro shall date, kiss or hit on another bro's partner.

No bro shall leave a drink undrunk.

No bro shall leave a glass dry.

No bro fist will be left unbumped between bros.

Beer is good, liquor is better

Tequila shots optional, upside down shots mandatory.

No bro shall pee alone.

No bro shall judge the actions of another bro, especially in a state of compromised sobriety.

At any time, at least one bro be sober enough to take care of the other bro's from doing acts which he/she will regret from when he sobers up.

Bros have no gender boundaries. However, rule No 4 still applies under any circumstance.

The amendment of this bro code shall only be approved in a state of compromised sobriety.

We're bros, so we're awesome.

Redefining Relationships

2009-11-12T00:08:00.005+08:00

Relationships are hard to define. Really.
It used to be either you're Single, or Attached.
But since the development of Friendster, and more recently Facebook, statuses cover a much wider ground, depending on whether there's a mutual liking, whether there's a commitment, and whether there's the intimacy.

But as much as possible, I've come accross many friends who sit on the grey area between being single, and being attached, and I'll try to make sense on all this nonsense about the saying "Single, but Available."

But one thing is certain, it cannot be exclusive, if you're afraid of commitment.
I refer to Steinberg's theory on triangular love for this.

And I've somewhat further on explain on the different facets of a relationship based on the different levels of commitment.

I separate the triangle into 2 main parts, exclusive, and non-exclusive. Exclusive would be one, where there's just one person. Non-exclusive would mean that there can be two, or more people involved with the individual at any one time.
Exclusive relationships are not recommended for the commitment-phobic.

At this point, I'm a bit tired. I'll explain this further in the future.

I only got So much to Give.

2009-11-07T11:33:00.002+08:00

This is the part that I don't understand.

As a human, there's only so much that I can give; my energy, my time, me resources.
And when I've given my all, you can't expect more from me.
I'll break.

A saw a slew of interesting statuses and what nots, form FB, Twitter and MSN.
One struck me.

"love me when i least deserve it, because that is when i need it the most. "

I find it hard to comprehend this.xt.U Ivh g Mentioned time and again, guys are really simple creatures. Understanding how we think, and why we do things, is simple and pure logic. No need to over-think on it.

And when we love, we give it our best.
But when you push us to the limit, cos of your plain, perhaps unthoughtful actions we break, cos there's only so much that we can take.

I don't get the part that the guy has to be forgiving.
I don't understand the part where we need to give in. And it's not as if we're stubborn creatures in to begin with.

I don't understand the part, where we need to be the tail, when we should be the head.

I can be stubborn, and I am, naturally.
I can be assertive, and I am, naturally.

Just like what I said to a girl previously, when the girl gets too troublesome or asks for too much, we move on.

Nice guys finish last? Perhaps. Cos we keep moving on, and taking detours, and enjoying the things we see, touch, hear and feel along the way.

Above everything being all grown up now, I realise that some things are only superficial, and to suspend judgment and give things a 2nd shot might give you good returns. I found that girl who doesn't stop to amaze me, the girl who's great company.
Cos at the end of the day, I can only commit the same mistake twice. And not for the third.

The Google Game

2009-10-21T04:30:00.003+08:00

Oh, thanks Amirah for sharing this with me. Saw it on your video..

Basically what you're supposed to do, is to Google (or Yahoo!) your name, plus a verb.
*A verb is an action word if you don't already know...*

I tried a few, and I got these.
Oh, and I got lazy, so I just took the first result.

Bambang needs:
"Bambang needs more than an economic miracle to turn Indonesia around."

Bambang wants:
"Bambang wants Malaysians to play in Indonesian League."

Bambang will:
"Bambang will update the diagram and provide a note based on the comments. "

Bambang knows:
"Bambang knows what he should do but he indulge himself in his guilty pleasures"

Bambang has:
"Bambang has defended victims of torture, labor organizations, and women's rights. ..."

Ok, this is controversial...

Bambang should:
"Bambang should have resolved any problems with his first wife ..."

Bambang loves:
"Bambang loves his girlfriend."

Ok, I made that last one up. It doesn't exist.
But what doesn't exist doesn't mean it's not true. =)

Have fun people.
Flood ma tags!

Poly Forum - Closing Speech

2009-09-18T20:16:00.000+08:00

This was my closing speech, for the Polytechnic Forum 2009 presentation on the Erosion of Singapore's Cultural Identity.
This was presented to a full-house, auditorium. Amongst the audience, was Dr Vivian Balakrishnan, and principals from the 5 polys in Singapore.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

So, what’s next?

Youths are agents of change. Youths play a vital role in developing and shaping the future of Singapore’s Cultural identity. What we decide on today, would invariably affect the outcomes of tomorrow.

What is it that we can do in preserving our individual ethnic cultural identity, while also helping to further develop Singapore’s cultural identity? This is definitely not an easy topic to suggest recommendations for, especially when even we find it hard to even understand or define the Singaporean Cultural Identity. The fusion of the different cultures in Singapore, helped along with some government policies has caused the erosion of the original form of the cultures. And this has directly contributed to developing the Singaporean Cultural Identity.

On preserving something much closer to our hearts, our hawker culture needs to be preserved as well.
Can you imagine a Singapore without our Katong Laksa?
Can you imagine a Singapore without our Chilli Crab?
Can you imagine a Singapore without Chicken Rice, char kway teow or maybe even carrot cake?
Do we want to lose this wonderful, diverse food culture that we are privileged to have as Singaporeans?

I can’t live without it.

The erosion of our language culture is another challenge for us.

Here’s our dilemma. Good English can destroy the ability for Sg to create a Uniquely Singaporean Culture but the widespread use of Singlish can seriously affect our employability especially in this time and age, where it is not uncommon to have Singaporeans living and working abroad in large MNCs.

But one thing is certain, we cannot deny the fact that Singlish identifies a Singaporean especially when we’re abroad. For youth, speaking Singlish is natural, but that does not mean our youth cannot speak good English. We just need to know when to switch appropriately between the two.

What we suggest then, is to enhance the English syllabus for secondary schools. The youths, and the future generation must be trained from young, on how to distinguish between when it’s required to speak good and proper English, and when it’s perfectly okay to be speaking in Singlish.

Again, it is up to us, the youth, to decide for ourselves. Is Singlish something we should preserve? Or is it something we can do away with? Our decision today, would affect the outcomes of tomorrow.

Change is inevitable. Erosion of culture due to globalisation is inevitable. Over time, some practices and traditions may be left behind or put aside for the sake of economic and social development. However, we should be aware that our values must be retained. After all, it is our national shared values and other universal values that makes us who we are.

We are the leaders of tomorrow. It is up to us to decide, and decide now, what kind of society we would like to have in the future. The catalysts of change lie in us right now, and we can’t go on depending on our parents, teachers, or even our maids to effect the change into our future.

Do we forego our ethnic cultural identities in place of a common Singaporean cultural identity or do we continue having these dual identities in each of us? And I think having both is what makes us unique.

Think about defining what is a Singaporean...

Where do we come from?
What do we share?
When does it go wrong?
Why do we care?
How do we define us as we see?
So exactly, who are we?

Decide now. We are the agents of change.
Thank you and goodnight.

I've always..

2009-09-13T05:30:00.003+08:00

I've always enjoyed every moment spent with you.
I've always treasured the times we spent together.
I've always remembered you as the cheeky one.
I've always tried my best to be there for you, whenever I can.

I've always been inspired by the things you have done.
I've always been proud of the awards you have achieved.
I've always been supportive of the journeys you've wanted to embark on.
I've always been, where I've been.

I've always enjoyed the rides with you.
I've always enjoyed making you laugh with my silliness.
I've always enjoyed listening to you sing.
I've always enjoyed talking to you about the things you've always wanted to do.

If you think that for a moment, I've given up on you, never.
If you think that for a moment, I've given up on us, never.
IF you think that for a moment, I think that you're not good enough, never.
If you think that for a moment, even a short moment, I think about not making you happy, never either.

Cos, you're there in my darkest hour.
Cos, you're there to make me feel better.

Cos, you're you.

For better or worse,
Till death do us part,
I'll love you with every single bit of my heart,
I swear.

Loving you every single day.

Thanks.

The 4 Stages

2009-08-18T01:29:00.003+08:00

Caught up with An-Nur earlier today.
It was a nice ending to the start of the week la. Discussing stuff..
But something struck me.

When it comes to loving, there's 4 distinctive stages.

The first, is the falling in love.
That's when everything is perfect. You're perfect for her, and she's perfect for you.
There's nothing in the world that can separate you.
That's when bitter is sweet, and sweet is sweeter.

Then comes, the tolerating.
This is when you've spent so much time together, cracks begin to appear.
That's when you learn of habits, and 'norms'.
That's when you start to dislike certain things, and love other things.
If you're strong enough as a couple, then overcoming this barrier would mean many more joyous times as lovers.
Tolerance strengthens love.
Many couples fail at this stage.

3rdly is the understanding.
This is the point of bliss.
This is when your actions, are guided by the feelings of your partner.
This is when you start to think about the partner more than yourself. You become selfless.
Usually the 2nd and 3rd stage overlap, and there's often little or no clear boundary between the two.
But the most obvious sign, is when you do it sincerely, and you feel that it's reciprocated.
Some couples fail at this stage. But usually it is after many many years.

4th stage, is the end.
At this stage, there's a sudden loss of the partner, either by death, or breakups.
That's when you feel lonely, or hurt, or regretful even.
This is the point when you feel at a loss, that you tell yourself, "You won't miss a person until it's gone."
This is a personally crucial point, cos it can make you a stronger person, or it can turn you into a weak and desperate being.

Personally, I feel that this cycle goes on and on. It is usually that people linger at the end, and that's where the idea of "the Rebound" comes along. No one likes being the rebound. It hurts.

Oh my my my

2009-08-08T16:36:00.000+08:00

My Condolences go out to the family, and close friends of Sheng, and Clara.

They were great friends, and reasons behind their sudden passing still remain an uncomfortable truth to be told.
Some say suicide, others say murder. But I think it's an accident.

Nonetheless, they will be missed.

Rest well, my friends, in peace.

Finally

2009-07-27T20:50:00.001+08:00

Finally.
After 12 weeks of researching, bitching, collating editing and more bitching, it's done.

FYP report completed.

Awaiting approval, but I suppose everything will be fine.

A week's break, and time to catch up with the loved one, and then its another 3 days of preparation for the presentation.

*yawns*

U won't believe what me and Asz did on Sat nite.
Even if I said it, you won't believe it.

LOL.

Take care everyone.

Wooo...

2009-07-22T15:29:00.001+08:00

Baik ah.

Because of the eclipse today, the bike refused to start.

Eff Why Peee!

2009-07-16T02:08:00.003+08:00

I hate it.

I think we're almost done.

But I'm still not seeing the full picture.

URGH!

Where's Total View when you need it!
RIght now its only periscope view.

In anycase, if you're wondering what's with the mess on the tagboard, its just me being mean to a girl. LIKE Uber mean.

You know how i can get, so yea.

Sue's away for a holiday.
And I miss her dearly.

Darling, if you read this, I jsut wanna tell you I miss you badly, tho it's only for 6 days. But it's ok. You can make it up with a carton of DFS Marlboro. LOL.

Swine

2009-06-29T13:25:00.002+08:00

Just got back from SGH.
4 Days MC.
Infected possibly from the RP Cluster.

24 hour wait for the lab results.

I have the flu, but I don't have the Swine *crosses fingers*.

Need to apply for LOA. Fucken Troublesome. Can I just do it at the One-Stop Centre?

4 days of being at home. Quarantine doesn't mean I can't be online, can I?

H1N1RP43 - As of NOW.

2009-06-29T03:03:00.002+08:00

It's the Swine Flu.

One or two schools are taking precautionary measures to temporarily close.
ONE has suspended classes for it's 1st Year students, and keeping it open for the 2nd and 3rd year students.

And since then, the cases has increased more than 14 times from 3 cases last week to 43 cases as of today.

And I am one of them who still has to attend it.

So what's with the SWINE? Nothing.

I'm not taking the bo-chup (lackadaisical) approach here. I just feel that it can be, and should be handled in a better way.

I understand the problems faced by the school board.
There are obviously clear weaknesses in the prevention strategies as well.
And we are in the news, almost every day for the past 2 weeks.

Safeguards when MOH was on Orange Alert is NOT implemented now when clearly almost half the school is advised to stay home. The Health Minister has made a call too early then. And now, it MAY be late. But better late than never. 599 cases have been reported by the MOH as of June 28, a month after the 1st confirmed case was reported.

How now, brown cow?

I can't say much about this.
Many close friends are getting it, and there's reason to continue to be vigilant.

Sue, thanks for the shorts. Lovin it, and wearing it now.

My McGangbang

2009-06-28T01:32:00.004+08:00

I bring you, the McGangbang.

This is a magnificent beast. A little unrefined though.
Some part beef, part chicken, with cheese, lettuce, mayo and tomato sauce, with 2 sets of buns, its a SHIOK feeling undescribable beyond words.

Here's after the first bite.

The explosion of flavours, simply fabulous. Just raw, unrefined flavour and needs no further explanation. The only thing is to TASTE IT!

Like what Hetty did... =)

Awesomeness.

And so a Star Dies

2009-06-26T12:33:00.003+08:00

Stars expand as they grow old. As their core runs out of hydrogen and then helium, the core contacts and the outer layers expand, cool, and become less bright. This is a red giant or a red super giant (depending on the initial mass of the star). It will eventually collapse and explode. A star's life span and eventual fate are determined by the original mass of the star.

Life span:
The most massive stars have the shortest lives. Stars that are 25 to 50 times that of the Sun live for only a few million years. They die so quickly because they burn massive amounts of nuclear fuel.

For example, Betelgeuse (the second-brightest star in Orion) is a red supergiant star that is about 20 times more massive than the Sun. It is about 14,000 times brighter than the Sun and burns nuclear fuel at a rate 14,000 times faster than than that of the Sun. The Sun will live about 7,000 times longer than a massive star like Betelgeuse.

Stars like our Sun live for about 10 billion years. Stars less massive than the Sun have even longer life spans.

Fate of a Star:
A star will become either a black dwarf, neutron star, or black hole, depending on how massive it was. .

Sun-like Stars (Mass under 1.5 times the mass of the Sun) --> Red Giant --> Planetary Nebula -->White Dwarf --> Black Dwarf

Huge Stars (Mass between 1.5 to 3 times the mass of the Sun) --> Red SuperGiant --> Supernova --> Neutron Star

Giant Stars (Mass over 3 times the mass of the Sun) --> Red SuperGiant --> Supernova --> Black Hole

EVOLVED STAR
An evolved star is an old star that is near the end of its existence. Its nuclear fuel is mostly gone. The star loses mass from its surface, producing a stellar wind (gas that is ejected from the surface of a star). Older stars produce more stellar wind than younger stars.

from http://www.enchantedlearning.com/subjects/astronomy/stars/lifecycle/stardeath.shtml.

But we all know which star just passed away.
We loved your songs, we loved your dance.
We loved your antics, and for the last 10 years, you were a circus sideshow with your stories of pedophilia and weird practices.

You may be 50, but honestly, you never grew up. Perhaps that's what kept you young, and many adults can learn from that. But you overdid it in Maryland.

Many people we're moved by your movements, "Heal the World" is one of them. I was.
I'm having goosebumps as I'm typing this.
You were never embroiled in any celebrity gossip like how Paris, or Britney was. But just by being there, you were news in itself.

But Life moves on.

"You are not Alone."

Annie, I hope you'll be okay now.

Emergency Posting - H1N1

2009-06-25T12:29:00.002+08:00

Ok.

Rp is shutting down.
Yr 1s are already not required to come to class at least untill July 1st.
The other classes, well, slowly and surely, going off as well.

Its a matter of time.

I'm tired. Sleepy. Shoulder ache. Dying.

I want painkillers, and muscle relaxants.

I want my Sue.

Un-Feeling well & . . .

2009-06-25T01:43:00.002+08:00

Seems like many things are suddenly not doing okay for me .

Developed some sort of gum infection yesterday, and Listerine is helping me fight it off. ARGH! The pain. I'm resorted to eating soft foods, and warm water to try and soothe it out.....

Caught a fever from all that running around in the drizzle today. If it was a full-blown rain, I'd still be ok. But it's a drizzle, so yea.. Caught something. Feverish now, and I'm gonna spend the next few hours trying to bring it down.

Oh, school closed for the Yr 1s. 6 Modules suspended till 1st July. Elearning.

Oh...

Love is a wonderful thing.
It ALWAYS comes back. If it doesn't come back in the form of someone you lost, it would come back in the form of someone else. Love ALWAYS comes back.

With that, I need to crash.

Nites.

Love you, Su.
Happy that you're back on your feet, running and being that happy bundle of energy like The Cube.
Thanks for Transformers Tuesday!

Another DIKY Moment

2009-06-21T19:31:00.003+08:00

DIKY - Do I Know You?

Its Facebook again. People adding you up, as if they know you.
I'm not into FB as part of a popularity contest.
Its not about who got 1,000 fans first. Its about keeping in touch with the people you know.

At the very least, these people should do, is to drop a message to me.
Send a 'Hi!' Interact with me thru someone else's post or something.

I don't appreciate random add ups. Really I don't.

So random people, who just add me up, and make me go, "Do I know you?"
Can you please at least drop me a message.

Beyond Words

2009-06-18T14:42:00.003+08:00

I'm in Class.
Sleepy beyond words.
NEver in this situation before.

Did you know that most infectious thing is a yawn? Whne someone in the roon yawns, you would notice that you yourself would be yawning as well.

Fark.

I'm daamnnnnnn sleepy.

What defines me?

2009-06-15T14:10:00.004+08:00

What are you made of?
What defines who you are?
What shapes you?

Questions that bring about more questions.

How and who we are, is shaped by life and the experiences it brings.

Nurturung prevails in the upbringing of all of us. Anthropologists and psycholigists may agree, but not biologists, or behavioral scientists even..

Some say experience shapes you. Others say that endophins, testosterone, estrogen shapes whether you're a boy or a girl. Some argue that this also accounts whether you do boyish or girlish stuff while growing up.

A girl growing up in the company of brothers tend to be more 'boyish.' That's nurture.
But as she grows up, she starts to behave like a woman, abiding to social and societal norms, that's nurture, and nature together. The girl realises she's not a boy (duh!) and behaves like how all the non-boys behave.

I am defined by the experiences I go through, and what life brings me.
I am defined by the people I love, and those who influence me.
I am defined by education and training.
I am defined by destiny.

The Need that can't be filled

2009-06-04T03:53:00.002+08:00

As the country continues to prsper, and continues to grow in its service and retail sector there's one thing that many Singaporeans can't run away from. That's service staff that can't speak proper English.

And why? It's cos apparently, although companies understand the importance of good frontline service, apparently they are hiring the wrong people.

Take this scenario.

You enter a 24-hour convenience store, like 7Eleven or Cheers, and you want to buy a pack of cigarettes. (I take cigarettes as an example as you can't pick it off the shelf. You need to ask the counter staff to get it for you.) So say you want to buy a Viceroy Menthol Lights. Easy enough? Just go to the counter, and say, "Viceroy Mentol Lights."

And of course the counter staff turns to the shelve behind him, takes what you want, you pay, and leave. Done deal. Transaction can be done under a minute, even if he has to fiddle with change, and you ask for a lighter etc etc.

Now, that's the ideal situation that we are all used to, and expect.

But what if, the CCB (coo coo bird) behind the counter: 1) can't fucken sprocken English; and 2) thinks that the only brand of cigarettes our country has is Marboro Reds?

Not once, but in many occasions this happens to me.
Ask the counter staff for a Viceroy Menthol Lights, and he turns to me with a fucken blur cock face as if I'm not talking to him. There's only me and him in the shop, and he thinks that I'm talking to a machine. I repeat it TWICE, and threaten to rip out his nose, before he acknowledges my presence, and turns around to reach for a Marlboro Reds.

Marlboro Menthol, not bad. Marlboro Reds? C'mon. Ask any smoker and he can tell you the difference in the 'feeling' between a Reds and Menthol. Ask any 7 year old child, and he can tell you that Menthol comes in a green box, and Reds, well comes in a red box. But no. This knn ccb reaches for a Marlboro Reds, scans it, and expects me to pay for something I didn't ask for.

I'm sorry. I know I do look stupid, but not that stupid.

And so I spend the next 5 minutes, telling him that I want a Viceroy Mentol Lights. He reaches for bloody everything behind him, except for the want that I want. If this is the HSA's way of controlling the sale of cigarettes, then I think its a good move.

After all that commotion, a Singaporean Chinese walks into the shop, and tells him the same thing that I want, in MANDARIN. Only after 2 tries, I get what I want.

C'mon. You gotta do something better than that. I would have walked out to get what I want. If not for the fact that it's the only shop open at an ungodly hour that sells cigarettes, I'd have walked away.

Everyday, I curse and swear to counter staff that can't speak English. Everyday, my tolerance level for these poor poor poor people decreases.

Where are all the Singaporeans? Can't you see we need you?
What's going on to these businesses? Can't you afford to hire locals to serve us at hte counter? Why can't we leave all this non-English speaking foreign talent to do jobs that don't require them to speak at all?

Just because this lovely nation is 74% Chinese, doesn't mean that EVERYONE speaks Mandarin. Even some of my Chinese friends can't speak Mandarin. HIRE LOCALS, DAMMIT!

Where are all the Minahs who ever so love a job in the sales line? Got shotgun kids, and can't work? Too lazy to work? Working is gooood. With the pay, you can get whatever you want; the Mac makeup, the Coach handbags, the liquor you want, EVERYTHING!

Please please go back to hiring locals.
I don't need foreign talent in my land serving me. I'm a citizen. I live and work here. I'm not a tourist in my own country.

PS: This is a countinuation of my previous ranting about the silly McD staff.

One Pet Peeve

2009-05-30T23:24:00.000+08:00

I have many pet peeves.
Things which I just simply hate.

Of course, I have mentioned some of them. Here's one more.

Ultimately, I can't stand girls taking pictures of themselves wearing a helmet, especially a motorcycle helmet.

I know, this might sound a little ridiculous, but really, I can't stand it.

Helmets are not exactly the coolest things to wear. They're not like hats, or scarves where one wears them as an accessory. Helmets are functional. They serve a purpose. To protect he wearer from serious head injury in the event of an accident.

Almost any sort of high impact, potentially deadly activity requires the participant to wear a helmet. And taking pictures is defnitely one of them.

Here's why.
Girls take pictures of themselves wearing helmets, sitting on some pimped-up 2-stroker on a sidestand, pretending to be riding the bike. It ain't hot, ladies. Especially if you're a minah in denial.
Guys on the other hand, don't do that. Instead, they take pictures of their helmets in a row, reflecting their participation in some biker group.

I really can't stand it. Helmets are meant for the grimy, and those who don't mind getting dirty. But properly made-up dolls with overplucked eyebrows just don't cut it for me. I'm sorry ladies, especially if your boyfriend/scandal/husband rides a KRR, TZM, Wave, 125Z, X1R, Spark, NSR, RXZ or WR200. (Read: Motor Mat Rep).
They just have a certain aura which irks me, and to have their dolls in the front seat as well just don't cut it for me.

But we've always had images of a hot girl riding a big bike and flaunting her long wavy hair as she removes the helmet. Now THAT'S nice.

So ladies, don't take pictures of yourselves wearing helmets. It takes less than 10 secs to remove the helmet and pose.

Sue, thank god we don't take pics like that. And we shouldn't.

Violent Love

2009-05-03T01:21:00.003+08:00

vi·o·lence
noun

physical force: the use of physical force to injure somebody or damage something

I do not condone, violence. Any act of it is definitely frowned upon. Violence, especially that against women, children and animals deserves nothing less than a corkscrew to the balls, after a squeeze, pull and a rip.

I had a call this afternoon, from a friend, who has become closer to me and Sue in the past few months. It's been a good thing, so I ain't complaining.

So this girl, let's call her A, called me up this evening. She asked me and Sue out for dinner, and I was gonna confirm with her again my attendance, when she called. She mentioned 3 of the most unthinkable words. "He assulted me."

It was pure disbelief. I knew which "he" A was talking about, and this "he" (at this point lets call him F) was her ex. Actually I'm not sure what their status is, she refers to him as her ex.

I knew A thru Sue, and F thru A. But I consider myself closer to F then to A cos we're colleagues. So smoke breaks and catching up under the big tree in front of our building was pretty common.
And A is generally a well-mannered guy. A little rough around the edges abit, but still an overall good-natured guy.

And for this to be coming, I'm torn. Between a battered friend, or a smoke-buddy.

(Smokers: You know how close you can easily get to strangers, especially when you share a stick.)

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," says one book of wisdom.

I'm angry. I don't tolerate physical violence. Not even a threat. I lose all respect for a man, when he threatens to hit me, either by virtue of the fact that I may be in the wrong or not. Again, it's just wrong. I won't put up a fight, but I'll let you beat me, so that you get your satisfaction, and loss of respect.

The law gives protection to victims involved in abuse. The Women's Charter safeguards the women even more.

I believe that there's a non-violent way to resolve disputes, arguments and dissatisfaction. Violence doesn't solve anything. It's just like sweeping dirt under the bed. It's still there!

If you need to hit, or break anything, like a cage, a bridge, or even wall. And I'm not refering to ribcage, nose bridge, or stomach wall. I'm refering to the real hard stuff. Perhaps when it hurts you, then you'd realise that it the punch, or slap landed on a real person, it would hurt her more than it hurt you.

As Isaac Asimov mentioned: "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent."

So let's take a step to non-violence.

I lvoe you, Sue.

Defining a Minah

2009-04-16T02:03:00.006+08:00

"There's a minah in every girl. The real ones are those in denial."
- Bambang Suryadi

Let's face it, there's a Minah in every single one of us, males and females. It's just a matter of how much.
The rest of this entry is about my opinions. I may not have the right to voice them, but I have the right to my opinions. If anyone feels strongly on this topic, I suggest, that you do NOT continue reading.

Let's begin.

min·ah[min-ah]: Usually a Malay female in her teens.

I shall break this down into a few parts: Entertainment & Lifestyle, Food & Beverage, Language & Culture.

Entertainment & Lifestyle
All of us like some sort of entertainment. Who doesn't? It can be in a club, at some fancy upmarket coffee place, or plainly at the park, beach, or void deck. Literally anywhere you can get in for free, or you don't have to pay to sit at.
Where we go usually depends on the day of the month, and the amount of cash we are willing, and able to spend. It's no different from a minah. Really. They're regular human beings, who like doing the things that other people like.

In the evenings, or night rather, many can be found hanging out in clubs, usually DBL O, or Powerhouse and more recently Arena, Rebel and Attica. Like many, they are often attracted to either cheap drinks, or low (or free) cover charges, but most times, it's the combination of both. The development of Ladies Nite has filled clubs to the brim with people; the Minahs, and the skirt-chasing Mats.

Food and Beverage
Minahs rarely eat. Possibly around once or twice a week, there's a rare occasion that they eat. Okay. I'm kidding. Minah's eat anything between 2 to 5 times a day. There is an inverse correlation between the amount they eat per sitting, and the number of times they eat (read: they eat more, when they eat less times). Which is normal. I'm sure everyone does too. Hence reiterating the fact that EVERYONE is a minah.

Diet wise, most minahs (like many youngsters too), believe in a "No pork, no Lard' principle. So places like Fish & Co., Subway and most cafes are where one can often find Minahs hanging out, often with their male counterparts, the Mat[maat].

It is known that some Minahs also take alcohol.

Language and Culture
Since most known occurences of Minahs are Malay, the main language of minah's is Malay. There's the occasional occurence that Minahs are Chinese (by race) but they too can somtimes speak, or at least understand, Malay. Profanities are common. Many understand them, but usage varies greatly within individuals.

The education of Minahs vary greatly from the non-completion of secondary school to the upper echelons of society. Many are known to have Masters Degrees, but even more are trapped in the downward spiral of education.

But a common trait (like many other women) is the need to be beautiful, either for themselves, or for the men. Most Minahs believe in the saying of "Style before substance" or its Malay equivalent "Gaya mesti mau ada."

So a Minah doesn't seem out of place, in society do they. Then what's all the fuss about it?

A large proportion of the Minahs that we see around, are exactly what irks me the most.

Dressing: Horrendous. Usually low cut tops which clear shows how well endowed they are, and tight stretch pants which clearly shows how unshapely they may be. Fashion gurus usually advise women, to take a size smaller to appear slimmer. But Minahs become their own fashion gurus and take the smallest possible size that they can squeeze their heads or feet into.
Like this two...

Verdict: Badan baek.. Muka Pecah.

And that's only clothes. I haven't mentioned shaven, or pencil-liner eyebrows, make-up on the face enough for the entire cast of cirque du soliel, nor poorly maintained skin hygiene, especially scars.

This is getting lengthy, and honestly, I don't want too much negative uproar on this post.

Here's a gist of General Minah types currently.

Minah Rep / 'Rape': Bad dress sense, bad habits, ignorant, just plain wrong priorities in life.
Minah Motor / Minah Rempit: those who ride bikes. Some are friggin hot, especially if they are slim built and wear jeans with sneakers riding on their DRZs...
Minah Tudung: Girls who wear the religious head dress, those that you can bring home to your mum.
Minah Ferring: A combination of the above three, but will leave your mum with a heart attack if she finds out her bad habits...
Minah Club: Minah's who frequent clubs, and usually leave the club drunk with another stranger. Otherwise they take the first bus/train home cos they're too broke to take the cab.
Minah World: A minah who 'talks big' and feels that she's the prettiest, most popular ones alive, but she actually looks like crap, and has no real friends.
Minah Rolling: This is easier to describe in Malay. But generally means an easy target for wolves.
Minah Kental: An underaged minah (below 18)
The Real Minah: A combination of any of the above, but won't admit that they're not a Minah.
Minah [place adjective here]: Anything that she does, or behaves like. Minah Gambar (photography), Minah Kasut (shoes), Minah Factory, Minah Saman (Summons),

SO there we have it. Its not exactly cast in stone, nor clear what a Minah is. You'll know one when you see one.

Having dated a few ultimate minahs, the broke ones, the rich ones, the easy-going ones too, I find that there's a minah in all of us.

Like what Nora said, we have our tendencies, so let's just embrace it.

A label that is given to you, can only be removed by those who put it there. It's up to you to prove that you're not worthy of it.

Loving and Missing my Sue, the Minah Diver.

If... Well...Quitting... GST Credits... I think... I Love.

2009-03-01T12:51:00.006+08:00

If I've been a little quiet, I'm sorry. Phone's down due to the bills. I'm setting up a little fund.. "Help Get Bambang Thru the Tough Times" Fund. No prizes for the highest donor, except for the occasional lunch and dinner.

Well, I'm glad that Sebas has found his bike. T'was a mess when the police found it. Do hope they did a CSI on the bike so that they'll find the thieves and put them behind bars for good. Better still, get them to serve 1,000,000 hours of community service, shining old 20+ years bikes with a toothbrush and cloth only.

Quitting is no mean feat. Finding it hard to even cross the 24 hour barier. But weekends are the best times to quit, cos she's there with me, and somehow, I don't feel compelled to continue when she's there. She's on a 4-day break next week, that should be fun.

GST Credits are in! In on Friday night. Explains the uber long queues at the ATMs and SAMs. And I spent it all~! On bills... On parking fines... On the PDL. Spent in 20 mins at the SAM. What a great way to blow a gift. Not that I even bought anything for myself.

I think, if I was a law-abiding citizen, who doesn't believe in spending like no tomorrow, then I guess the $200 is meant to be what it is... a bonus.

That's that .

I love you, Sue. More than any other. Cos you're special, and there's no one who makes me feel the way I do like you do.

Valentines 2009

2009-02-16T00:53:00.003+08:00

Valentine's 2009:
The 'corny' gift: $4.00
The Sheesha session: $19.50
The Actual Gift: $71.69
To have her laugh so hard, she cried at the back of my bike while I sing her love songs: Priceless.

For some things, there's the ATM. FOr everything else, there's Sue.

I love you baby.

Thanks lots for the company this Valentine Weekend. More to come.
This is the best Valentines, yet.

805s..

2009-02-04T16:09:00.002+08:00

I MISS MY 805s...

With the wind in my hair, drink in my hand...
The interesting conversations we would have.. And how we would sort out our little problems there as well. Especially when we needed an opinion.

It doesn't have a great view but the wind was truly perfect.

It's always a 4-stick break when you're there.

Gosh I miss it.

OGC: One of those days...

Of Grapes and Apples.

2009-02-01T00:04:00.002+08:00

Would I give up an apple for grapes?

Interesting conversation I had today with a fellow friend.

I wouldn't give up MY apple, but what if I like wine?

Haha...

Take care everyone.

It's been a good day.

What a great way

2009-01-29T23:04:00.002+08:00

I was all happy and psyched up to go to Dubai for a couple of months since December.

Made it thru 2 very challenging interviews, and even received the confirmation.

Here's what I received today via email..

Greetings from Raffles Dubai.

I hope you had a couple of relaxing days off.

I wanted to take this opportunity to inform you that unfortunately we are no longer going to be able to go ahead with taking the students for work experience.

Due to the current economic situation which has now started to affect the Middle East and Dubai we are now in a situation where we have to look at ways in which to best operate our business and reduce expenses. Sadly this has a knock on effect for the students and as a result we are no longer able to take them.

Please accept my sincere apologies. We would have loved to have the students in Raffles Dubai and give them some valuable work exposure and experience. I hope that you and the students understand our current situation.

We are happy to accommodate students from your School of Hospitality once the economic situation has calmed down.

I do apologise for the sudden notice and thank you for your understanding at this difficult time.

Kind regards

R

Honestly. wtf.

Thanks ar eh... Thankiuk banyak banyak. Korang best arr.

Like a Couple but not a couple

2009-01-13T09:29:00.003+08:00

I'm happy with how things are going on lately.

Outsider looking in, we're like a couple, well, almost.

That's all I wanna say.

Happy New Year everyone.

My Resolutions for 2009: To complete my resolutions from 2008.

Takdir Aku Hidup DenganMu...

2008-12-21T01:09:00.002+08:00

(It's fate that I Live with You...)

I just want you to know that you're special.
I can't find an exact reason, nor excuse for this. Cos I've never been much of a thinker. I'm a feeler.

I understand that you need proof, you need more than a sign, you need a proven theory. But it's okay. Perhaps one day, when you stop thinking, you start feeling.

Cos feeling is important. It separates you from the machine.

You're special to me. The way you make me smile when I'm down, the way you make me laugh when I'm crying. You never fail to make my heart skip a beat when you call for no reason whatsoever.

You make me ride the extra 15 miles just so that I can make you feel happy, to keep you company. But I don't mind. Cos just by being there, I'm happy too.

Cos I love you dearly.

That's where we are....

2008-11-23T11:41:00.004+08:00

I'm feeling kinda good right now.

Its been a while, that I can actually consider myself as part of something.

It's not about the name. Its about the company.

Looking forward to karaoke on Wednesday.

Let me get back to my crash dangdut course...

Love you guys~

I Don't Know YOU!

2008-11-16T12:43:00.002+08:00

It's strange. That when we do it, we don't realise we do.
But when others do it upon to us, we find it weird.

I'm talking about social networking sites like Facebook, and Friendster.
Some girl added me on today. And she knows some of my friends from YM. You see, I'm bad with faces, and even worse with names. And so she has "9 friends in common."

I have no idea who she is. There are times when people are vaguely familiar, but not this one. Nope, not at all.

Sometimes (I know I do this), I'd send a girl a message, or send her a poke, if I think she's attractive. Then we'd chat, and then we'd add as friends. But I won't add her up on the outright that she's cute.

But this is unacceptable. As a guy, I'm used to making the first moves; and taking rejections. But for the girl to make the first move. Man, that takes guts. Aku pelayan wanita. I don't reject those who cross my path. If I don't like them, I'll leave them alone, hoping that they go away after a while.

There are friends who come and go after a few hours. There are those who hang around for days. Some months, and others years. All of them are unique, and all of them affect your lives differently.
What's most important is that for the time that they're in your lives, respect them, and treat them special.
Cos you may never know when they're gonna go away.

ps: Sebas, Facebook is the best place to stalk people without saying anything. Haha...

Poke poke...

2008-11-09T13:26:00.002+08:00

It is a known myth, that women can squirt. It's no myth. They can.

By stimulus of the female prostate? aka the G-spot or the Skene's Gland, they can erupt into orgasmic fantasy. The ejaculate can range anything from dribbles, to a squirting euphoria like fountains...
(look up videos from Cytherea... ^.^ )

That's for the women. Mindblowing orgasms.

Men can too. Unfortunately, we are not blessed with easily accesible G-spots.

The male G-spot lies in the prostate, accessible thru the anus, its on the frontal wall, about 2 inches in. (Yes, its not for the homophobic.)

Now I understand why there are men, who are willing to be poked. (The poked, and the pokee...) It's the sensation, the feeling, the curiosity.

I so wanna try it. Just to know how it feels. But I wanna remain straight. I'm still in love with women, and I doubt I'd fall in love with a man, no matter what.

That aside...

I love this feeling. I love the way things are developing. And I can't wait for more.

I wonder if the things I used to do still work for you. I know you're expecting a better man from me, and yes, I will be that better man for you.

I just need you to poke my ass a little bit.

Piece of ME!

2008-11-07T10:22:00.001+08:00

I'm Miss American Dream since I was 17
Don't matter if I step on the scene
Or sneak away to the Philippines
They're still gonna put pictures of my derriere in the magazine
You want a piece of me?
You want a piece of me...

I'm Miss bad media karma
Another day another drama
Guess I can't see the harm
In working and being a mama
And with a kid on my arm
I'm still an exceptional earner
And you want a piece of me

I'm Mrs. Lifestyles of the rich and famous
(You want a piece of me)
I'm Mrs. Oh my God that Britney's Shameless
(You want a piece of me)
I'm Mrs. Extra! Extra! this just in
(You want a piece of me)
I'm Mrs. she's too big now she's too thin
(You want a piece of me)

I'm Mrs. 'You want a piece of me?'
Tryin' and pissin' me off
Well get in line with the paparazzi
Who's flippin' me off
Hopin' I'll resort to some havoc
And end up settlin' in court
Now are you sure you want a piece of me? (you want a piece of me)
I'm Mrs. 'Most likely to get on the TV for strippin' on the streets'
When getting the groceries, no, for real..
Are you kidding me?
No wonder there's panic in this industry
I mean please...
Do you want a piece of me?

I'm Mrs. Lifestyles of the rich and famous
(You want a piece of me)
I'm Mrs. Oh my God that Britney's Shameless
(You want a piece of me)
I'm Mrs. Extra! Extra! this just in
(You want a piece of me)
I'm Mrs. she's too big now she's too thin
(You want a piece of me)
I'm Miss American Dream since I was 17
Don't matter if I step on the scene
Or sneak away to the Philippines
They're still gonna put pictures of my derriere in the magazine
You want a piece of me?
You want a piece of me...
You want a piece of me?
I'm Mrs. Lifestyles of the rich and famous
(You want a piece of me)
I'm Mrs. Oh my God that Britney's Shameless
(You want a piece of me)
I'm Mrs. Extra! Extra! this just in
(You want a piece of me)
I'm Mrs. she's too big now she's too thin
(You want a piece of me)
I'm Mrs. Lifestyles of the rich and famous
(You want a piece of me)
I'm Mrs. Oh my God that Britney's Shameless
(You want a piece of me)
I'm Mrs. Extra! Extra! this just in
(You want a piece of me)
I'm Mrs. she's too big now she's too thin
(You want a piece of me)
Oh yeah
You want a piece of me

You want a piece of me?

Wondering

2008-11-02T14:45:00.004+08:00

It's clear now.

This space has got a whole lot more readers than I expected.

Yinn.
Dayana.
Roza.
Stef.
Sebas.
Lynnette.
Shidah.
Eqah.
Sue.

Among others.

Knowing this... it's not so private anymore.

It's kinda lame to have a blog, then to set it to private. Cos it's on the Net, intended for everyone to see. If you're such a private person, then don't blog.
Resort to the pen and paper.
Resort to saving all that material in your harddisk. When the harddisk goes bye bye, so do the memories you wanted to cherish. Makes moving on a little easier, don't you think?

Talking about moving on.
I wish it is easy to move on.
I wish it is easy to sometimes turn back the clock.
I wish it is easy to take back what you've said, or done, or promised.

Today is a Sunday.
Tomorrow is the start of a better week.

When you have nothing, getting something makes you happy.

Dear Mom

2008-10-27T14:58:00.001+08:00

I know that you'd read this sooner or later.

Just wanna tell you that I love you.

The Best Things

2008-10-19T15:41:00.003+08:00

Ask yourself:
"If you had to lose everything you ever remembered, but you could keep only ONE memory, what would it be?"

I wanna keep memories of Corus, KL.

From the planning, to the execution, to the end, and everything in between, I want to keep all that memory intact.

I think its the May 2005 post. It's somewhere in there. Go find it here.

There was the radical invite.
There was the unexpected reply.
Then there were the sleepless planning nights for our 1st trip overseas w/o the parents.
Then there was the point of no return when the booking was made.
There were more planning nights, things to see, places to go, food to eat.
There was the anticipated morning (where she was late as usual)
Then there was the bus ride.
There was the food along the way.
There was the revelation of the hotel room.
There was the fun in the trip, with abstinately memorable evenings under the stars listening to old American songs.
There was the nostalgic bus ride home, marking the end of the holiday, but the beginning of something new.

And that was the start of a long journey, now arduous, sometimes painful yet fulfilling at times.

And yes, I do miss her.

And yes, a promise is a promise.

And yes, it's Sue.

The 3-ines make me Superman

2008-10-12T15:31:00.005+08:00

I've been at this for a while, the 3-ines to keep me awake and thinking. I think I'm addicted to it.

Since Wednesday night, to be exact when I had to save a particular damsel in distress from a state of complete annihilation, self-mutilation and disintegration.

Lo and behold, the 3-ines... Adrenaline. Nicotine. Caffeine.

Adrenaline. The stuff which your body produces when you're excited. This increases the speed, and the force of the heart beat. Hence pumping more blood around the body and makes you more active. The after effect? When you're in rest, or when the adrenaline stops pumping, you get really really exhausted.

Nicotine. The toxic substance in cigarettes. 'Nuff said. Nicotine is good. Tar is bad. Keeps you awake, cos it stimulates the effect of adrenaline. Nicotine stimulates the release of the hormone epinephrine, which further stimulates the nervous system and is responsible for part of the "kick" from nicotine. Nicotine promotes the release of the hormone beta-endorphin, which inhibits pain.

And lastly, Caffeine. The stimulant found in coffee, tea and cola. It results in increased alertness and wakefulness, faster and clearer flow of thought, increased focus, and better general body coordination. It also results in restlessness, a loss of fine motor control, headaches, and dizziness. In greater quantities, iot leads to insomnia, agitation, tremors, and rapid breathing begin to appear. Caffeine stimulates the heart, dilates the vessels (increasing blood pressure), causes bronchial relaxation (can be used as an antiasthmatic drug), increases gastric acid production, and boosts the metabolic rate.

So, put them all together. Adrenaline, nicotine and caffeine. Kind of makes you feel that you're Superman.

So, start smoking, taking coffee, and lots of good fun. Realise the Superman in you.

My Bike.

2008-10-05T19:39:00.002+08:00

I lost my keys.

I broke my ignition lock.

I hot started my bike.

I took nearly 2 hours last night.

And I was fucking happy. No, I was damn ecstatic.

I became McGyver for 2 hours last night.
All it needed was a broken pair of scissors, and a needle. And voila!

Then today, I decided to *cure* the had work by installign a switch. A bad idea? I don't know. We shall see..

Probly tomorrow or Tuesday, I'm gonna replace the keys... We shall see.

Haiz.. The Hari Raya present from the Government all spent on absolutely intangible things. And I haven't even included the Hari Raya packet Bonus from everyone else. But I think that's been spent too. On petrol, and smokes.

*dig deep adi, dig deep*

EID MUBARAK

2008-09-30T19:50:00.003+08:00

1st Syawal is here...

I just wanna wish all my Muslim readers a very Selamat Hari Raya~!

Count your blessings and be thankful for what you have this year. Things may just take a change for the worse. No matter how bad things may go, there are people worse off than you.

You Should...

2008-09-28T09:46:00.006+08:00

You should take a chance.
Who knows, it can make you stronger and happier. It may even allow you to experience something new.
Take a chance and some out of your shell. Sniff the fresh air, and lie down flat in the rolling fields. Run, climb, hide. Do that.
Oh please don't waste your time with those gadgets likes PSPs and waht not. That's indoor entertainment. It doesn't replace physical activity, even though you maybe driving around in an ultracool sports car, or battling dragons in medieval times. It just makes you fat.
Not taking chances makes you fat.

You should have an ambition.
I remember the time when I was three, and I wanted to be a race car driver. When I was 6, I wanted to be a doctor (and still drive 2 sports cars) That ambition and hope drove me in primary school, and I must say, I did quite well for the PSLE (261..) Then I started to lose it. It was a slow downward spiral. Went through JC without one. Went thru NS without realising if I had one or not.
Then I had an awakening when I realised that I can't stagnate my ambitions if I wanted to continue to do well, and progress in life. Everyone wants to be rich and successful. But having an ambition gives you the goal, and the driving edge. It gives you a trail on the 'how' you can be rich and successful, and also answers the question of how rich and how successful you wanna be.
Having no ambition, chances are you will fail and fail miserably.

You should know your limits.
Let's face it, if you can't do it, you can't do it. Don't bother trying too hard. It makes you look pathetic. You can be persistant, cos it's part of who you are. But you can't be stubborn. Cos people hate that.

You should know what looks good on you.
How many times, when we walk down the street, have we actually seen extremely beautiful people but they look hideous in their clothes? Or how about those people whom you know you wouldn't date, but because of how well she puts her clothes together, you might just give her a chance. (And by nice here, I'm not refering to plunging necklines and offensively 'deep' cleavages)
So here, take a chance with clothes and colours, there might just be another colour besides black that can make you look good.

You should start taking your own advise..
That's right. Take your own advise; on relationships, family, on school, on decisions. But what we need is sometimes a reassurance that we're doing the right thing. It's nornal. I used to get extremely frustrated when people don't even consider my advise. I still do get frustrated nowadays. I'm learning to accept that. And sometimes, I do give crap advise.
Here's a few..
"If you wanna break up with the GF, go ahead. But pass me her number once you're done."
"If you wanna break up with the BF, go ahead. Never contact him anymore."
"If you don't know where to go, or what to do with your life, you should read my blog."

But above everything else, you should be thankful.
Be thankful for what you have, cos there are others who may not have it.
Be thankful to your friends, family and other loved ones.
Be thankful for everything that has happened to you, as it has helped you shape your memories and experiences, and no one has the exact same memory and experience as you do.

I'm thankful for everything. The beautiful ladies in my life then and now, the wonderful experience I've had along the way, those little flashbacks which make me feel emotional when I think about it.

Because...

2008-09-20T14:04:00.002+08:00

Relationships are complicated.

One moment you're inseparable, and another, you wish that you're halfway around the world.

That's the volatility of human relationships. When you spend so much time together, sometimes all you wish for is some time apart. And When you're apart, you start wishing that you weren't in the first place.

Which then leads to the fickleness of the human mind, it's indecisiveness, muddled by confusion and complacency.
Don't get what I mean? Its ok. Google it.

The mind, and its ability to think, rationalise, consider, decide, reflect, remember, is God's greatest gift to mankind. Unfortunately, this is also Man's greatest weakness. The mind is too powerful for some people. Thinking too much, and too far. Deciphering too much of the literal, trying to comprehend the unsaid. This leads to misunderstandings & confusion which goes back to the first line of this entry that human relationships are complicated.

Don't get me?
Don't think too much.
Just read for our enjoyment. And try to comprehend. If you can't, think about it, and smile.

Cos that's just another ramble, among rambles.

The World Needs to Know...

2008-09-10T00:56:00.003+08:00

ADI LOVES RAIHAN

That's all.

Shit Work. Die.

2008-09-09T14:34:00.003+08:00

Girls are NOT stupid.

This was what someone in my group tried to pass off as work. Look closely at the title of the slide, and the points in it.

Fine. Cut them some slack. The specific question is, "Think about what are the factors which we consider when we want to chose between Harvest and Global (recording companies)?"

Wouldn't what you get just want to make you vomit blood? 2 WHOLE freaking hours, and I got ONE slide of a lifted paragraph from some website of questionable source...

Urgh.

I can't stand retards. Simply can't.

No wonder you're stupid.

Stupid Farkers.

To Love is to give...

2008-09-08T23:25:00.004+08:00

To love is to give, and expect nothing in return.
Whatever you get, is a bonus.

It hurts to give without getting anything in return, but it's only human.

Dangerous Relationships

2008-09-06T01:09:00.003+08:00

dan·ger·ous [dáynjərəss]
adjective

involving risk: involving risk or difficulty

re·la·tion·ship [ri láysh’n shìp]
(plural re·la·tion·ships)
noun

behavior or feelings toward somebody else: the connection between two or more people or groups and their involvement with each other, especially as regards how they behave and feel toward each other and communicate or cooperate

How would you define it?

It's hard to explain. But I'm love to be in one.

Have you ever been in a situation, when you like someone, but the problem is both of you are attached, yet do have this kinda scandalous friendship (not f***friend, mind you...), whereby you would prefer that no one knows about it?
How about a situation where you like someone, and she likes you back, but it's kinda wrong in some way, because of age, race, religion, mutual friends, or even sexuality?

I must say, that's what I am in right now. Dangerous. Risky. I don't mind if some people know about it, but I don't quite want everyone to know about it either. Risks are too huge. Friendships are at risk. The social stigma is there too...

I'm usually quite clear with my decisions. They don't always conform to social norms, nor are they always acceptable, but from where I see it, my decisions are always right and justifiable. Some see it as a lackadaisical approach, or perhaps even reckless and selfish, but I guess that's what makes me a little bit more special than others... *LOL*

I'm beginning to think that I thrive being in these situations, taking uncalculated risks into uncharted territory. With life and love, I guess that's where I dare to take risks. But with work, and livelihood of others, I prefer to take the path well trodden.

This is not the first time, and I doubt it'll be the last. But I hope it'll stop soon, especially if I decide that I want to settle down.

Baby, let's just keep it down for a while, ya... The whole world doesn't need to know what we've got going on. Sssshhhh.......

It's about trust, baby...

2008-08-24T09:09:00.005+08:00

There's always a time in a relationship, be it between friends, families and especially those BGR-type ones when trust becomes an issue.

"You're not being entirely truthful no sincere to me."

"I don't think this can go on. Think about what's happened previously, to you, to us."

"This can't go on, for as long as you still have your ex in mind."

Or the worst case scenario, and the mother of all slip ups,

"Who da **** is Linda/Shawn?!?!?!?!?!?! *insert random name*

Then again everyone has secrets, both big and small. They're like little ticking time bombs. When you don't know about it, it doensn't hurt you. But when you do, either you implode, or you explode.

I can't help but to sometimes realise that there are lies told to me every now and then. I see it as a form of protection from the hurtful truth. Which then goes back to the initial question, can there be trust within lies? Can I trust you with those lies?

You can lie to yourself. But this lie will never cause yourself to lose trust in yourself.

Why can't this be the same with human relationships?
Why can't I continue trusting you despite those lies?
Why can't you continue trusting me despite these lies?

Perhaps that's what makes us human, different from the rest of Maths and science, where there are formulas, rules and laws which are ALWAYS obeyed.
We are just filled with too many variables, which you can't just force fit into any particular group, or classification.

Well, maybe you can classify us people into a few categories like:
Race - Malays, Chinese, Indians, Afro-americans, hispanics...
Language - Malay, English, Mandarin, Hokkien, Spanish, German, French
Religion - Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, Athiesm...
Skin Colour - Brown generally.. Light brown, dark brown, white, red, black...
Hair Colour - Blonde, Black, Grey...
Eye Colour - Brown, blue, grey..
Age - Kids, preteen, Teenagers, middle age... And those who are Forever Sweet 17
Birthdays - Born in January, Febuary etc.. Horoscopes...
Nationality - Filipinos, Americans, Singaporeans, Indians...
Likings and Preferences - Coffee / Tea, To-MAY-to / To - MAH - to...
Upbringing - Poverty vs Silver spoon vs mediocrity
Physical Environment - Mountains, Cities, Rivers, Fields, Equatorial, Arctic...
Location of moles (I heard that if you have one at you're ear, you're a stubborn person. If one on EACH ear, it makes you extra stubborn.)

... but the combination of this makes people different. If I can define the personality of humans by an equation, then sociologists needn't work too hard.

Too may variables for every individual. 6 Billion people. No two have exactly the same personality, beliefs, and values.

But I digress.

Opposites attract. That's all I can say. I can't fall in love with me. I need to fall in love with someone who is NOT me. 6 billion people in the world. 1 billion are in India and China. 4 million in Singapore. 50% males. I'm sure, out of the 2 million I can find someone.

Ironic eh? I say everyone is different. But I need to find someone who is not me. So am I saying then that everyone is like me, hence I can't find that special one? But isn't everyone different?

Hmm... How about you, angel?

PS: I have a bad habit of throwing first timers into the deep end of the pool. Cos that's how we learn.

AMD

2008-08-20T11:34:00.004+08:00

AMD - A Mindless Drone.

That's what I've become. 5 days of work. STRAIGHT.

No time for anything elsewhere. Too tired for anything after work.

But everything is a little brighter, some place, some how.

I'm just a little tired now.

I Love you.

It's Only...

2008-08-16T23:47:00.000+08:00

It's only when you go around the world, that you realise that it's not flat.

It's only when things start happening to you, do you realise that the world revolves around the sun. And unfortunately you're not the sun.

It's only when shit is in the edge, do you realise that you don't have enough tissue paper.

It's only when an accident happens, do you go, "Oops!"

It's only when its too late, do you realise that you should've started some things a little sooner.

It's only when you start, do you sometimes wish that you didn't.

Likewise, it's only when it's gone, do you realise what you had.

Don't take things for granted. Your friends, family, buddies and loved ones. For you'll never know if the time that you last saw them would be the last time you'd see them, ever.
Be thankful.

"... and it starts with a smile..."

2008-08-10T18:02:00.002+08:00

Perhaps I now know what I need.
I jsut came to realise that I've probably been moving around aimlessly, that's why it really seems that I'm a really random dude.

What I need, really, is a goal.
Something that motivates me.

What I lost wasn't a friend when I lost her. Cos I still have her tagging along. But what I last most was the motivation. I probably did it to impress her at that time, beng the smart-er one, the more informed one. But now, when all that's left is blind faith, the motivation is lost.

So I need a goal.
Instead of finding it a chore to meet my minimum grades, I should instead look for a reason to do well, where it's unrelated to what I have to do. It should be what I want to do.

Analogically... Like how a guy would woo a girl to get under her skirt. Not that he needs to get under her skirt (that'd be classified as attempted rape, yes?), perhaps he just wants to. That's when it becomes an interesting game. But you see, other things are more of a chore, like housework. It's not something that you want to do (for you, Shidah, I don't know...) its something that you need to do. Hence they're called household CHORES.

So I don't need a chore. I need a challenge.

And my biggest challenge now? To find myself that challenge, and to believe in it.

For my Biggest Fan

2008-08-09T10:11:00.000+08:00

Ok, You made me update.

It's cos I know that you actually spend a lot of time here.

So this is for you.

Oh.. Thanks for keeping me company at 6 this morning. And its a SUNDAY for goodness sake. Its not Saturday. Honestly, when my body closk gets screwed up, the last thing that anyone wants to tell me is that I'm having to go thru the same day TWICE.

I honestly don't look forward to the weekends.
It means work.

Weekends mean that whatever enjoyment I would want to have, it's all after dark.
No more romantic Saturday AFTERNOON movie dates. No more Sunday MORNING cycling trips. Ok, maybe I lied about the movie dates, but I really used to look forward to Saturdays as they mean that I would have something to do - dates, volunteer sessions, family days, chill out sessions.

Man, I miss those days...

I have ONE free Saturday this 23 Aug. And there's nothing like a good OSC Orientation Session to help fill up my Saturday. That should keep me busy till around 6.. Then.. erm.. then I got no plans after that.

So, to my greatest fan, 23 Aug? Is that day Fine enough?

Having to wait till 15 Sept is a killer.

For my dearest love, I guess commitment needs some getting used to.

One

2008-08-01T00:50:00.002+08:00

Number's are colourful aren't they? The longer they are, the more value it has. I believe only man has the ability to make sense of squiggles, and lines which we create (tho the same can't be said for doctors).

Disappeared for a while today. Trying to be at one with myself. I feel that I'm not really my true self lately.

Then again, who am I? Have I lost my identity? Rai says that I'm a narcicist.

nar·cis·sism [nrsə sìzzəm]
noun
1. self-admiration: excessive self-admiration and self-centeredness
2. personality disorder: in psychiatry, a personality disorder characterized by the patient’s overestimation of his or her own appearance and abilities and an excessive need for admiration.
In psychoanalytic theory, emphasis is placed on the element of self-directed sexual desire in the condition.

Shidah finds me smart.

smart [smaart]
adjective (comparative smart·er, superlative smart·est)
1. clever: showing intelligence and mental alertness
2. witty and amusing: amusingly clever and possessing a quick wit

Honestly, lately I find peace in people accepting me for who I am, despite my imperfections. Karma I must say. I accept people for who they are. Wisdom is my guide. You should accept and appreciate people for their unique personality. When you start finding imperfections, then that's when you'll find that as the day goes by, the relationship (or friendship) gets strained. And to all my friends, I accept you for how you're perfect.

Random...

This paragraph that you are reading, will probably take you a few minutes to digest. After reading this paragraph, you will soon realise that this paragraph hasn't informed you of anything new. THen you'd start wondering why I actually bothered to include this paragraph. Well, I'll tell you. I'm merely stringing a few, or rather, several words together to form complete sentences, which you'd soon realise doesn't really mean anything, and it hasn't made u any wiser. There we go, a few seconds of your life wasted reading a paragraph which didn't really add on to anything that you know or things that you don't know. If this paragraph didn't convince you that you didn't gain anything, then possibly you're confused.

Everything is slowly falling in place. One by one, things are happening, and everything will be in full swing soon.

I do realise, babe, that my presence may be overwhelming to you, and that you're having a tough time adapting to all this additional attention. Let's just say that I get excited easily and that there's a lot of pent up positive feelings which I need to just release to someone. I do hope that you don't get the wrong message by all this extra attention.

Adi's got a fan! And this is for you. You know who you are.

Hey!

2008-07-28T01:07:00.002+08:00

Look who's back again after a long silence...

Week's been good. 2 writing and research assignments due by the end of the week. Not to mention that I'm currently working thru the pain barrier due to a slight mishap last Monday evening after school.

Lo and Behold...

This is the 2nd day of the mishap. It has since ballooned to around double of this size.

"A bruise is a clot that is meant to protect the tender injury" said the pharmacist.
"It could be a fracture" said the nurse.
"I don't want an x-ray" I told the doctor.

*cheeky grin*

Friends come and go. Cherish them, for you don't know when you'll lose them.
Send an SMS to 10 random friends. See how many return with replies, and how many return with "Who's this?" True friends will call you to ask you directly if you have gone bonkers sending random smses.. (unless you're that sort).

I think what's most important to me right now, and I do believe is the same for many socialites, and individualists alike, is the need to be able to express yourself freely, being whoever you want to be, without having to really conform to anything.

Sometimes, a lion feels like its being trapped in a cat's cage, even though you feel like you're putting a cat in the wild.

This one's for Shidah, the Malay girl from SP whom I met at SIWW. (extreme right)

Oops.

2008-07-05T20:21:00.002+08:00

Huda struck me with a chord.

I shouldn't be wasting my cash on something quite unhealthy that makes me fat.

True.

Is it cos no one cares? Haha..
Now she's using that reverse psychology on me.

Dang.

Last 3 sticks.*

*before I head down to JB to get more.

Sampoerna : Perfection

2008-06-29T01:29:00.005+08:00

Hey~!

It's been a very long time. =)

A lot has happened and I must say, its like vitamins. Whatever that doesn't kill you is supposed to make you feel better, right?

Last week was the Singapore International Water Week. Ask anyone from DIEM and they'll be more than happy to share it with you. Just not me. SIWW was a waste of my 4 days, and I would be better off at work, earning my keeps entertaining irritating cheapskates who want everything for nothing, and more.

Other than that, many people have since came and went, and some even gone completely. One too many heartbreaks this season.

Bah...

See you tomorrow, Lei.. Bubble tea. YUM~! How does peppermint green tea sound like to you?

Being a Little Reckless

2008-02-23T22:48:00.002+08:00

reck·less [rékləss]
adjective
without thought of danger:
marked by a lack of thought about danger or other possible undesirable
consequences

It doesn't hurt to be a little more reckless. There's nothing much left to care for anyway.
Its just one of those days when I feel that I'm caring, and harbouring too much hope into people, so much so that it dwindles down to a simple hope which says, 'Don't hurt me, nor my feelings.'

I'm finding it a little harder to recover these days, when people really care. BUt sometimes the more they show they care, the more confused and hurt you get. Sometimes you wish they'd go away, but secretly wished they were closer too.

Like that girl from the east, who's 4 months pregnant. You started out okay, great company and all, and you make me feel warm and comfortable when you start singing. Great voice, dark secret. But things took a turn today, and suddenly I had to start caring. Gone are effortless carefree relationships, and the dawn of obliging friendships.

Then there's this other girl from the east. Well, she seems to like me for who I am, liking me for the fact that I'm witty, and sarcastic and blunt, yet cool all at the same time. Well girl, thanks.

I asked Mai something verrry interesting... And it's got an interesting answer too..
Q: What do girls associate stability with?
A: (He must have a) good job that pays (well), knowing the guy won't stray behind her back.
It's the 2nd point which caught me off guard. KNOWING THE GUY WON'T STRAY BEHIND HER BACK. It's not good enough to not do it, she must also KNOW that we're not doing it.

Which then got me thinking... Am I caring for too many people that I am not caring for myself? And when I do care for people, am I expecting something in return, that I get extremely disappointed when I don't get the attention back? Do these people whom I care for actually KNOW that they mean something to me, hence I care for them? Should caring for friends be unconditional, knowing that you may never get anything in return?
If there's a YES to any of these questions, then why the hell am I feeling this way?

Perhaps it's time for me not to care. But I can't stop caring, cos it's part of who I am.
Perhaps it's time for me not to care. But I can't stop caring, cos it's how I define my relationships with people.
Perhaps I should really stop caring, then how about the people I love? It's bad enough that I feel I'm not spending enough time at home, CARING for my lil angels at home, knowing DAMN well that I'm trying my best to.

Dear God.
Give me the answers I seek.
Give me the strength to continue loving and caring, in this world full of hatred, and discontentment.
Give me the resources, to be who I want to be, and what others want me to be.
Give me the ability to be the best that I can be, for my family and friends.
Dear God, don't take away this gift of patience, and faith which you have bestowed upon me, as it helps me keeps my sanity in times like this.
Don't take away the love that I have for the people I care for.
But most importantly, God, help to make sure that the people I care for remain as happy as can be, even though you need to shroud me in misery.

Feb!

2008-02-17T13:27:00.004+08:00

Work has been making me a little bit more busy to be at ease wth my thoughts.

So yes, Misa & Roza, that's why this place has been a little dead as of late. I shall still try my best to NOT let this space rot.

First things first.. Happy Belated Valentines! I''m still available for dates, and other what nots, so please do ask me out. I'm getting bored of being alone, and having ot ask people out.

Secondly, as of 31st Jan, I'm officially a qualified rider! So another dangerous rider on the road soon!

Mum's finally got her kueh business idea into full swing. So after several months of her pestering me, I bring to you my mum's kueh. You can drop me an email if you're interested. I'll see of I got the time to set up a blog for her.

And lastly to...

My Lil Angel, yes I have been neglecting you a little bit, and that's no good. So what say this weekend (soon rather, I can't confirm this weekend yet) we head out to dinner! I don't know when you'll read this, but if you do, just beep me.

Rabiah, thanks for the t-shirt from Bangkok! So thoughtful. =P
Yes yes, your birthday coming soon. Another month to be exact! I'll be there. Oh it's B shift this week, that means I need to fulfil my obligation to you. Tell me when alright.

Sue~ Thanks for the uhm.. yea, you know why I'm thankful. It's more than just the MuVo you know.. =)

February seems like a gooooooood month ahead. A little broke for now, but a good month indeed.

Take care everyone!

I've come to Realise

2008-02-17T11:28:00.002+08:00

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I LOVE:
great company

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT MY LAST EX:
Can be quite annoying, but cute in her own respect, and for that I still love her.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I SAY:
the wrong things, at the wrong time, ALL THE TIME.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I HAVE:
a keen sense of time and space.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I'VE LOST:
the ones I love cos of my imperfections.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I HATE:
the feeling of being single. But frankly, I'm enjoying the space. I just hate the loneliness.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT MARRIAGE IS:
something I want, not need.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT THE BEST:
is still the first.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I'LL ALWAYS BE:
the way I am.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT LOVE:
is blind, and sometimes more unconditional than other times.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT THE LAST TIME I CRIED:
was 2 weeks ago.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT, WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING:
there's really nothing in my mind.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT:
I tend to call someone who would make me laugh, and cry in the same conversation.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT RIGHT NOW:
I'm questioning myself what made me do this silly survey in the first place. *Thanks Fintz*

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT BABIES:
are pretty easy to make.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I GET ON FRIENDSTER:
nothing but empty hope, and promises and a false sense of belonging.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT TODAY:
is my 2nd off day already.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT TONIGHT:
I might really have nothing to do.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT TOMORROW:
Is a working day. It's a Monday. I might catch up with Leah.

I'VE COME TO REALIZE THAT I REALLY WANT:
is her - forever. Like what she said, and what I'll continue to have faith in.

And when...

2008-01-03T23:45:00.000+08:00

And though I make mistakes,
I'll never break your heart.

For better or worse, till death do us part.
I'll love you with every bit of my heart.

And when, just the two of us are there,
You won't have to ask if I still care.

I swear like the shadow that's by your side. I'll be there.

*back to square one*

The Aviator

2008-01-02T00:32:00.000+08:00

It's her favourite movie. Leonardo's her favourite, not because he's good-looking. [Cos she never went all googoo gaga over Titanic, nor Romeo & Juliet.] Rather its the image that Leonardo played during Aviator - a powerful, confident man, who buys what he wants. He's intelligent, and insanely rich yet he's realistic.

He's the epitome of a chivalrous man, who's ego is too big for himself, yet he's gentle and courteous. Powerful, confident. Always right.

He's problem? OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - there's always a need to be clean, perfect, structured.

But when you measure his success against his setbacks, perhaps you can still accept him for who he is.

There's Mr Howard Hughes for you, girl.

Happy 2008!

2008-01-01T06:49:00.000+08:00

As 2007 comes to a close, I just wanna wish you guys a fantastic 2008! Hope that the next 366 days will be a better year than the last. Put the troubles behind, cos starting the new year is all about refreshing your optimism and hope to achieve your ambitions. Put your troubles aside, cos there's a GREAT 2008 Coming your way!

Have a nice trip, A.

Party on Hard! 2008 will be a blast.

Let me just get my bearings right, and I should be able to think straight by 3pm.

Oh oh, Fee.. You are so NOT gonna get drunk anymore. I hate your cynical preaches. But hell, you were INTOXICATED, so you're forgiven.

"I LOVE YOU"

2007-12-25T03:00:00.000+08:00

Magical what 3 words with 8 letters can do. It will bring so much less pain to the world.
What if one day George W Bush just uttered those three words to the leaders of North Korea, Iran and Afghanistan?
What if the people of Palestine can utter those three words to the Israelites?
What if I can utter those three words to the people who are behind all this feeling that I have right now?
But, what does it all mean?

Let's break it down, with the help of Encarta.

I [ī]
pronoun
first person singular: a pronoun used by a speaker or writer to refer to himself or herself (used as the subject of a verb)

love [luv]
noun (plural loves)
1. very strong affection: an intense feeling of tender affection and compassion
Young children need unconditional love.
2. passionate attraction and desire: a passionate feeling of romantic desire and sexual attraction

you [(stressed), yoo(unstressed), yə]
pronoun
person being addressed: refers to the person or people being addressed or written to

Microsoft® Encarta® Reference Library 2005. © 1993-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

Separately, they mean pretty different things. Together, it's a different ball game altogether.

It makes me feel all fuzzy inside when I hear it. It's something I want to hear, but not from anyone. There's only a few people whom I want to hear it from; mainly from the people around me, and those who care for me.

But there are times, when I hear it, I get all confused. Am I supposed to believe it, and harbour hopes on it? Am I supposed to ignore it, cos I may get a heartbreak if I start believing it? And if I ignore it, am I going to lose someone very special?

You know you've said it, dear. And the last time you did, I got all confused. I don't know what to make of it. I'm still on the fence, afraid to venture for fear of another heartbreak. Reassure me. That's all I ask for.

This heart's open, willing, and vulnerable. Like what lil Miss Korean said, "No hopes, no promises, no damage done." What I have now, is TONS of hope. And what I anticipate is lots of damage.

Too guy to be gay you say? Perhaps. Once in a while, I think I wanna try to be heartbroken by a guy, maybe it's more fun, and less painful.

*Syirah's got a hickie*

Thanks for the company, Sky. Dinner was well worth it.

From a friend...

2007-12-25T01:23:00.000+08:00

"Never seek to find what is not meant to be urs... Sometimes it is just right in front of u...It will happen naturally."
Thanks Hanisah.

Eve of Chrismas!

2007-12-24T12:16:00.000+08:00

24th December.

Woot~! Will be out with SKY today. Honestly, I've never been so excited like this for a long long long time.

Christmas this year will definitely be something to remember. Then there's Ubin tomorrow! How fun can that be?

I'm still thinking of where we shall have dinner tonight.

But some things will be hard to forget. No matter how many times, and how many ways that your heart is broken, you'll always forgive the people you love.

Me and Su: Xmas Eve 2006

You got one thing right Su, I'm too guy to be gay.

This Song

2007-12-23T23:58:00.000+08:00

This is playing in my head.

I Love it!

Can't embed it.. Dunno why.. SO..

Enjoy it here..

http://youtube.com/watch?v=x2TlB22Edak

SKY HIGH!

2007-12-22T23:46:00.000+08:00

You Give me Wings - Hady Mirza
[The Asian Idol]

Sometimes it’s hard just to be yourself
I know you know
So close to tears wanting to give up
I felt all alone.....

But now you’re here right by my side
And I just want you to know

You give me wings when I’m falling
You lift me up when I’m down
Taking me high touching the sky
Yeah,you make me fly...

Now I am stronger than I was before
Because of you
I feel so alive and I’m wanting more
I can’t believe it's true
and now you're here,right by my side
Don’t ever let me go.....

You give me wings when I’m falling
You lift me up when I’m down
Taking me high touching the sky
yeah,you make me fly...

Ooo baby, woah wooah
Come fly away with me.....

You give me wings when I’m falling
That’s why I’m saying to you
Whoa...

You give me wings when I’m falling
When I'm falling
You lift me up when I’m down
When I'm down
Taking me high
taking me high
Touching the sky
touching the sky
yeah,you make me
You make me fly.....

You give me wings when I'm falling
Whooa yeah
You lift me up when I'm down
When I'm down
Taking me high
Taking me high
Touching the sky
Touching the sky
yeah,you make me
You make me fly.....

you give me wings

2 More days to the Xmas Eve... Mmmm...

Monday & Tuesday

2007-12-18T23:33:00.000+08:00

Monday was Wonderful.

Openhouse duties in the morning, and I showed off RP to my little angel. Hope you had fun, yo! And have a better picture of RP and PBL too yea.. Perhaps Airspace is your thing~!

Golden Compass with Sky in the evening. Nice show, great company. A truly magnificent time.

Tuesday was er... MEMORABLE~!

Seoul Garden with the W45C-ers after work. FUN~! The big old tree at Raffles City is still there. I wonder what happens to it when Chrismas is over. FUN FUN FUN~!

Chrismas eve with Sky next week~! It's gonna be a blast. I never thought that it would be possible, but its gonna happen.

I'm beginning to enjoy your company, Sky.. =)

Your WonderHERO SUPERMAN!

2007-12-15T00:20:00.000+08:00

Its been a nice and long week. It's the LAST WEEK of school~! Come Monday, it'll be the beginning of a 3 week break~!

And what a better way to celebrate then a visit to MoS! Woots~! Ministy's calling for me, and I got SPUNKY SUE to keep me company!

Uh oh.. She wants to see me shuffle! *Does the C-walk*

Work. Urgh. Willie's gonna see if he can get me 'live'. I want to go LIVE! I'm bored and tired of listening to the same thing everysingle day of work..

On other things, a very close friend is battered, tattered and torn. No thanks to some guy who feels that you can buy girls' hearts from Toys'R'us.. Stay strong girl. I pray for you to be happy and safe always.

Some other things, EC has been dissolved. She got attached, so yea.. *setapak lambat lagi* That's the dunno-number-howmany that I see go right under my nose, cos I'm half a step behind.

Oh, oh.. My Secret Lover still loves me. =) We had dinner this week.

Nora, sorry to hear about the loss. I do hope you find the strength to carry on without her.
Sue... Naughty or Nice?

PS: Thanks Syirah for the inspiring 2 words!

Action for Aids

2007-12-09T23:25:00.000+08:00

A few minutes ago, an very interesting current affairs show was on TV. Nevermind what the details were, but it was discussing the discrimination of AIDS patients.

It mentions that the discrimination of AIDS patients is still vey rampant, within the community, as well as families of these patients. Of course, it was mentioning 101 reasons WHY these patients should be helped into integrating back into the society, and even mentioned that religious groups should get into the act, to support the rehabilitation of these AIDS patients.

My View?

The main reason that AIDS patients are discriminated against in the first place, is fear. Remember the time that SARS new to the world? Everyone who coughed, or sneexed, was doubted and deemed to have ocntracted the virus. LIkewise, those who's body temperature exceeded 37.5 degrees celsius were 'forced' to go home and stay home, with entire femalies being quarantined. Is this fear rational? [note: Fear itself is irrational.]

Likewise, AIDS was first recorded in the early 1980's and about 30 years later, there is still no cure. AIDS is not hereditary, and the virus is ACQUIRED - that's what 'A' in AIDS is for. It is not surprising that it is believed that AIDS was probably around since the mid-1960's, but at that time, no one gave much thought for it.

A little history on AIDS [don't quote me]. AIDS is a primate virus, which did not spread to humans until a South American dude decided to F*** a monkey, a gorilla to be exact. Why any man would want to copulate with a Gorilla is beyond me. Interestingly, it spread to Africa, deepest Africa. How it got to the most remote parts of the world is also beyond me. Could it be that a white male explorer decided to mate with the locals when he explored and documented on the ways of life in Africa?

Now AIDS has spread throughout the world. I don't know how, and I can't understand why. AIDS is in China, Hong Kong, Singapore, Malaysia, Australia, the United States, the Middle East, Russia, large parts of Europe, Macedona, Macadamia, wherever.

Now, back to the topic, why is there discrimination? This discrimination is a result of prejudice, which is a resultant of certain stereotypes. [ref to diagram below]

Why also do we discriminate? IT is because of a sense of fear that we have for the unknown. Fear of the unknown is a irrational kind of fear. if you don't know waht you are afraid of, how can you be araid of something?

Common misinterpreted misconceptions:
AIDS can't spread through phisical contact: AIDS can be spread this way. It is spread through the exchange of bodily fluids of an infected person, like blood, semen, vaginal fluid etc. Honestly, when you shake hands, or hug someone, you don't know where those hands have been.
Protection protects you from AIDS: WRONG! Before sex, there's foreplay. Everything goes everywhere, with helmet or not. There's a point in time that love-making does turn nasty and lusty. 'Nuff said.
AIDS patients disclose the fact that they have AIDS to their partners: Right, and it's goodbye to the pleasurehole.

Think about it. The 'discriminated' wants concessions to feel that they are on par. Special treatment in a way, don't you think?

The paradox.

PS: I have nothing against, or for AIDS patients. I feel that they are individuals with as much freedom to express their needs and wants as any other human.

Saturday

2007-12-01T19:06:00.000+08:00

First day at AOS today.

Mak kau, pala peh jauh~!

Took two hours to get there this morning, and I was half an hour late. Bad~!

Did product training today, and there's really a lot of shit to remember. System training tomorrow, and I'm going live next week.

I think I'm gonna retire my number. There's only ONE reason why I'm keeping my number alive, and that reason seem to be fading.

"Then how am I supposed to reach you?" she asked.

An Interesting Proposal

2007-11-29T09:25:00.000+08:00

Heroes ROCKS!

Been staying up late to catch them episodes, and nope, no spoilers from me. I've got DVDs for the 1st season, so if you want them, ASK.

Shazy~!

Apa kau merepek? Haha...

I hope the 'H' in your name doesn't mean what I think it is.

It's a THURSDAY! *rubs hands*

I feel a strange vibe coming along...

Very Quickly

2007-11-25T03:46:00.000+08:00

I just got back from Plush. Awesome place. Crowd was unforgiving, but good company makes it all wonderful.

And, there was a brawl. An innocent bystander got hurt. I might never be returning there again.

Escape theme park tomorow. That's plan A. Plan B is Bowling at Marina Square. Plan C is that you come meet my mom. =)

Gonna catch an episode of Heroes before I crash out. I've got some DVDs burnt too. Entire first season, baby!

Looking forward to a Great day out tomorrow, Su!

PS: My EC's got her heart reserved, so.. Tough luck there, Adi. The person who loves me in secret check's up on me too. I'm beginning to enjoy the attention.

I feel a hangover coming up.

Shiok~!

2007-11-24T14:58:00.001+08:00

Back to a good string of results.

Wow. This feels good.

TP in 3 days.

Thanks for the encouragement, guys.

Lunch with Zul.

A moment of Sheer Brilliance

2007-11-23T01:06:00.001+08:00

Was chatting with Eka just a moment ago, and I derived at this...

"Live by your own principles, and you'll never regret your decision."

In this sense, your actions are always justified by what you believe in, and this includes doing what you feel is right.
When you stick to that, you'll be fine. No one can fault you for making wrong decisions in life. I admit I have. But the thing is, to never regret these decisions. Instead learn from them.

Secret Lover

2007-11-21T22:34:00.000+08:00

The way she smiles at me,
The way she looks at me,
The way she reacts to me,
The way she just fits her hands into mine,
I think I'm the secret lover.

Whose? I won't tell.

I don't wanna jump to conclusions.

I just wanna thank you for wanting to be in this part of the ride.

Where's my EC? I miss having you around.

Dinner was nice. Thanks, Su.

Commitment - From Grey's Anatomy

2007-11-18T16:33:00.000+08:00

Commitment is complicated
I'm here for you, whatever it is.
Whenever you're ready, I'm here.
True Commitment takes effort & sacrifice.
Which is why sometimes we haveto learn the hard way to choose our commitments carefully.

Today's Pisces...

2007-11-15T23:46:00.000+08:00

"It's difficult when relationships change, but you need to accept the fact that you and a friend have grown apart."

I miss her.

PS: Is everything after July 23rd gone?

Friday, Saturday

2007-11-10T12:02:00.000+08:00

Adi is miserable without his personal stuff. Like SU has mentioned, Adi is currently 'STATELESS'

I've been home all week, boring my poor little self like no one's business.

But noonetheless, everything's alright, I suppose.

The people at PCG don't seem to like picking up phone calls, forever trying to hang up on me, or shoving me to another department. One of these days, I'll really write up to the forum on the state of public service provided by these government servants, THEN someone will look into it. Gosh.. If you listened to what I had to say, you'd probably be able to give me a better answer. If you guys HATE doing work so much, don't do it. Get someone who is willing to work and do counter services.

Enough about them...

My EC is away at the moment, so it'll be a quiet weekend.

"Love is in the air..."

"You can't miss someone you've NEVER met, you can't love someone you've NEVER known."

'Nuff said.

GES tomorrow~! 12pm onwards, NLB Foyer. Come down to support!

Pesta Raya - Imran's Showcase

2007-11-08T01:09:00.000+08:00

Went for a concert showcase at the Esplanade today with Huda. Boy I miss her. Nice chatting with you, girl.

We can't do it more often, cos then it'll lose it's novelty. =)

Imran Ajma'in is goooood~! HE doesn't disappoint, like many of the other local talents. I hope he doesn't disappear under the radars.

Keep up the good work bro.

Thanks Huda.. =)

And to that particularly busy girl, it's okay. There's always another tomorrow. =)

Viv, pull yourself together. I need you for Sunday. Please.

NP 322 Report No. M/2007/1105/2001

2007-11-06T14:25:00.000+08:00

It's like a bad dream, which has turned into a reality.

I'm not a believer of gut feel (especially my own) but I should have heed the warnings when I felt something amiss.

The result, I lost:

my NRIC
my Handphone
my EZ-Link cum student Matric Card
my ATM Card
my Keys
my Allowance for this week
the picture of Su in my wallet (which is beautiful, by the way)
the pic I had with Su in Kasu
my Bossini discount card
the numbers stored in my phone (everyone I know)

It's one of those days when you start compiling a list of "I wish I had..." just so that you wished you didn't lose it.

Replacement fees is going to be around $200 for everything and I need a LOAN! MF. Why doesn't work start earlier.

$5 for the ATM Card
$10 for the house keys
$40 for the SIM Card
$50 for the Student Pass
$100 for the I/C

and all the stuff INSIDE the phone is totally irreplacable.

"I'll throw a coconut at you if it's actually in your bag! I'll slap myself if it's in mine..."

An otherwise fantastic trip to Ubin.

Something from Friendster

2007-11-06T13:20:00.000+08:00

45 Things a Girl won't ask for

1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?

6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends
together.

KEEP READING

1 1. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more,
deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say i love her
more than you, deny it. fight back and
hug her tight so she can't get to her
friends. it makes her feel loved.

Ar e you thinking of someone?

16. Always hug her and say I love you
whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the
waist.
19. Tell her she's beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about
her.

One last thing you need to do to show
her you actually do mean it.

21. Open doors for her, walk her to her
car- it makes her feel protected, plus
it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she's your everything -
only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something
wrong, ask her- if she denies something
being wrong, it means SHE DOESN'T WANT
TO TALK ABOUT IT- so just hug her
24. Make her feel loved.
25-kiss her in front of OTHER girls you
know!!!!*

WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE
AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US

26-don't lie to HER.*
27-DON'T cheat on her.*
28-take her ANYWHERE she wants
29-txt messege or call her in the
morning and tell her have a good day at
work {or school}, and how much you
MISS her.
30-be there for her when ever she needs
you, & even when she doesn't need you,
just be there so she'll know that she
can ALWAYS count on you.*

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER
BECAUSE, IT'S IMPORTANT

31. Hold her close when she's cold so
she can hold YOU too.
32. When you are ALONE hold her close
and kiss her.*
33. Kiss her on the CHEEK; (it will
give her the hint that you want to kiss
her).*
34 . While in the movies, put your arm
around her and then she will
automaticall y put her head on your
shoulder, then lean in and tilt her
chin up and kiss her LIGHTLY.
35. Dont EVER tell her to leave even
jokingly or act like you're mad. If
shes upset, comfort her.

REME MBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE
WITH HER NEXT

36. When people DISS her, stand up for
her.*
37. Look deep into her EYES and tell
her you love her.*
38. Lay down under the STARS and put
her head on your chest so she can
listen to the steady beat of your
heart, Link your fingers together
while you whisper to her as she rests
her eyes and listens to you .
39. When walking next to each other
grab her HAND.*
40. When you hug her HOLD her in your
arms as long as possible*

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED

41. Call or text her at night to wish
her SWEET DREAMS*
42. COMFORT her when she cries and wipe
away her tears.*
43. Take her for LONG walks at night.
44. ALWAYS Remind her how much you love
her.*
45. sit on top of her and tell her how
much u love her and then bend down to
her face and kiss her while sitting on
her.

You'll never know when she needs just
a lil more love

I'd do EVERYTHING except #45.

A Little Laughter

2007-11-05T16:45:00.000+08:00

I don't know what you think, but this is cool stuff.

Check it out, yo~

Sleepy Sunday

2007-11-04T14:58:00.000+08:00

Gosh, I can't help it.

I find her beautiful. But she doesn't know. She doesn't need to know. I like things the way they are.

Yes, Ubin tomorrow. Wish you can make it.

Viv, I know you're right when you said what you said the other day. I can't help but to refuse to believe that you are.

A man learns his lesson best, when he goes through it himself.

Erm.. What's the timeframe again? I can't commit to long-term at the moment, not before a holiday.

Phuket this time? Why not we ride?

Thanks for the time over breakfast, Su. 'Preciate it.

Sunday

2007-10-22T11:20:00.000+08:00

'Take my hand, and let me walk you thru,
I mean no harm, just that I love you."

The paradox: "Those whom you love, tend to hurt you the most also."

Thanks Surya for the great lunch.

Aidil Fitri

2007-10-12T19:23:00.000+08:00

And 30 minutes ago marks the end of the Fasting Month.

Tomorrow is HARI RAYA! Woot~!

30 days of fasting, and other personal sacrifices, has come to an end, and tomorrow we celebrate like no one cares!

Mmmm....

The thoughts of GOOD Hari Raya food is already wafting into my mind, ketupat and lontong, rendang and lemak, all the kueh, not to forget that.

Wait, let me disappear in my thoughts for a while.

But Aidilfitri is not all about food. It's also about renewing ties of kinship which may have been broken, or damaged over the past year. It's about renewing friendship with friends and acquaintances. At the same time, we are also reminded of the poor and less fortunate, and those that have lost family members along the way.

Aidilfitri for the past few years has been very special for me. I've always enjoyed the company of my cousins, and this year is no different. I look forward to going out with them again, visiting from house to house, together as one.

Let's see who has grown up this year.

ps: Sufi, Ilya, Nurul, will you be there?

A Quick One...

2007-10-10T10:12:00.000+08:00

What becomes long when pulled, fits nicely between breasts, fit nicely in a hole and does its function when jerked?

Leave your answers on the Tag board.

Being me.

2007-10-06T18:31:00.000+08:00

It seems to me, like you're pretending to care, all of you.

I don't hate you. Really.

I thought when I was there for you, all of you, you'd be there for me too.

But now, 9 weeks on, I've got to do it all alone.

I hate being alone. You know that.

I stayed up all night last night writing down the names of those close to me, whom I can turn to. But I spent the whole of this morning going thru the list again, cancelling out everyone.

I have but one name: Bob.

Blood is thicker than water they say, and it's true.

Even with the people with whom you share your dreams and aspirations with their presence is temporary. If they're there, it's a bonus.

I need to step out of this.

I need to return to my old self, and to realise my dreams of becoming who I want to be. Perhaps then, I'll find someone who truly accepts me for who I am, despite my imperfections and all.

Aishah's nick says, 'You're not perfect, but you're the perfect one for me.'

I want the perfect one for me, not the perfect person.

I don't know what I want - Something familiar, or something new.

Toothache

2007-09-27T15:31:00.001+08:00

I've got a toothache, an it hurts like a bitch.

Not that bitches hurt, but it's been hurting since morning.

URGH.

A Slow Recovery

2007-09-25T21:30:00.000+08:00

I finally managed to get the comp running again. Thanks to xSenifer and Sebastian who were there every step of the way. Thanks to Vincent, Belinda, Naz, Misa and all for your understanding. =)

So now I'm slowly trying to recover its functional use again - XP skin, MSN smileys, IE Favourites, Firefox, Emails, and the list goes on...

The photos are gone! Argh! File-sharing is a good thing. W46M photos are with Lynnette (I still hope) and Bangkok photos are with Su. Some of my older pictures are in the other comp, so that would be nice too.

I hate this.

CSI in a few Minutes.

Music Junkies at 1030, spinning thru till 2am.

Acer's eRecovery

2007-09-24T11:12:00.001+08:00

A lifeline. There is hope.

Some things can be salvaged afterall.

IT Helpdesk soon. But we'll see how.

Laptop Crashed~

2007-09-22T21:26:00.000+08:00

Urgh, this is so frustrating.

120 Gb down the drain.

51 Gb of goodstuff down the drain. Let's take stock of the irreplacables.

MP3's. All about 2Gb worth of the goodstuff. All those stuff you hear here and on Music Junkies. GONE.
Movies. All about 30+Gb worth of the goodstuff. Almost everything in the movies recently, including Ratatouille, Die Hard 4.0. Some good stuff from Russel Peters, and not to mention favourites like the Oceans Trilogy, Take the Lead, and Harry Potter. GONE.
Last Semester's work! Urgh. Now I can't pass anything on to the juniors. GONE!

It's time's like this I wished I had bought the 200Gb Harddisk at the last PC Show. URGH!

I can replace the Harddisk, the mp3's and movies. But the memories of Bangkok, I can't. The Pics are in there! ARGH~!

I hate this.

Gonna call Acer on Monday.

Does anyone know how to save my D Drive?

A Personal NOte

2007-09-19T23:47:00.000+08:00

Dear Non-Committing Partner,

Commitment is complicated.
I'm here for you, whatever it is.
Whenever you're ready, I'm here.
True Commitment takes effort & sacrifice.
Which is why sometimes we haveto learn the hard way to choose our commitments carefully.

Lots of Love,
Your Non-Committing Partner.

-------------------------------------------------

It ain't easy when you want the best of everything.
But there will come a time when I will sacrifice everything, to give you only the best in me.
I'm proposing an offer for you to consider.
Hope is a powerful tool.

It's the Start of Something New

2007-09-17T23:49:00.000+08:00

W45C!

Woot~!

A motley crew of people. It's too early to say anything about anyone, but I guess I'll enjoy this class a lot.

How much you will get from the class, is how much you are willing to give. As SK has mentioned many many times as he quotes from his mother,
"When you do good unto people, you create a vacuum where only goodness will flow."

Or something like that.

Applicable across many situations, the important element here is that your own attitude towards something or someone must always be a positive one, so that you are able to build meaningful relationships with them.

So what's been up with me lately? I've been good. School has been kind, and things at home have never been any better than this. I'm high on life, as I continue meeting people for all sorts of reasons, excuses, opportunities and occasions, I try to never fail looking for something positive in them.

Yea...

This could be the start of something new
It feels so right to be here with you (oh)
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart the start of something new

The Start of Something New - High School Musical OST